Sunday, December 29, 2013

Love Yourself - Blog for 12/30/13

There are moments in life where I get to see the miracle of reflection by the circumstances that surround me. It never ceases to amaze me that the patterns that I acted out and got stuck in come back around with people showing up in my life that are doing the pattern of my past self. It is with great compassion and understanding that I sit in observance and see myself and my past pattern being reflected back to me. I then have to feel the suffering that I put others through by my actions and appreciate those who have walked with me despite my shortcomings and distortions. 

The last few days have been one of those moments. It is with great humility and compassion that I see my past self and understand how much fear and constriction I had lived within for a long time. Then I get to see how far I have come. How much more open I am. How much I have risked and let go. How my heart has guided my spirit and my body needed certain experienced in order to evolve. 

So today take a moment to love yourself, love your shortcomings, love your growth, love who you were, and love who you are becoming.

Nobody in the world,
Nobody in history has ever gotten their freedom by appealing to the moral sense of the people who were oppressing them.
~Assata Shakur~

Here we are at the end of the year. I hope all of you are celebrating in a fun and fabulous way but also safely and responsibly. As I get older I notice that I appreciate taking the time to be in the moments that make life so precious and special. It is not our work that defines us but our connection with others that gives meaning to this existence. It is about how we enjoy life that makes our time on this planet so memorable. Take this moment to make a list of what you appreciated the most about yourself during 2013. What did you do that showed your essence in an unusual way? How did your heart guide your tongue with a kind word when another so desperately needed it? I suggest making a diary of the things you remember about each year. So that when you are down you can pick it up and reflect on how far you have come and how many people you have connected to in deep ways. Now is the time of reflection because soon we will be to the New Years Resolutions and orchestrating the next phase of your life. On New Years Eve we will have a new moon. The perfect time to set the tone for the upcoming year.

Numerology for 12/30/13

Today is the number 3. It is a positive mind day. It is a day where you feel as if life could actually be a wonderful ride and an experience that is exciting, exhilarating, and full of joy and laughter. What would it take for you to express your silly side today? How could you do something unpredictable that would make others smile? Today set aside all that worrying and analyzing. Step into a place where your inner child gets to have some fun and give her a reason to come out and play. Whatever has been bothering you can be put aside for a moment and picked up again with a new perspective if you just let it go. They say that the best way to learn and to retain information is to take naps. By napping you are able to let the brain integrate what you have just learned more quickly when you get your conscious mind out of the way. That problem or situation will still be there. So why not just stop and take a moment to regroup and enjoy this amazing day. There is so much to be grateful for. Find out how beautiful your life really is when you stop to appreciate it.

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And so it seems, that perception is shaped by what’s predominantly being carried inside…Acquired illusory baggage picked up early on in life and through the lessons of experience. At some point in the journey, perhaps by grace or awakening, the burden is discarded - with realization that the extra weight is not really necessary for the trip. And all that’s required is to trust in our natural state - the inner guidance, the innocence, wonder and love that one’s soul came pre-equipped with…for the trek across time.

Living life from the place of innocent wonder and appreciation is what today is all about. Can you see what issues and patterns you carry around with you? Do you really need them? Today I am going to let go of believing that others have issues with me and I am going to live a life of wonder, excitement, exploration, trust in the perfection of this moment. Sometimes in life circumstances come up from our past history and with that comes the internal dialogue that situation provoked. But whether I give that old story air time or I just let the past story go is up to me. Each moment is unique. Each moment is an opportunity to test the theory that my mind has made up. My mind loves to be right and to prove a point that others are out to get me. But what does that story really prove?  The story does not actually serve me. Being right usually means that I will find myself again alone and isolated. It fuels my fears and perpetuates patterns of exclusion that do not serve me in any way. What would it take for you to let the stories of your past go? How would you respond today if there were no conversation going on in your mind? The answer is that you would just be in the moment and be as authentic as possible. Today try that. Because if others are running as story about you, your freedom and authentic expression might just surprise them and show them that there story about you is incorrect. It might also open them up to a possibility and step beyond the known.

Numerology for 12/29/13

Today is the number 11/2.  Everything today is about perception but perception is completely associated with the mind. Minds operate in a state of comparison to things in the past. So everything you perceive is connected to your history and the events that have shaped your personality. You can choose to live a life completely based on protecting your own wound and your past traumas or you can live in the moment and trust that each experience is somehow connected to what you came in to learn. The number 2 or 11 is a choice, just as in life every moment and how you choose to view that moment is a choice. You can choose from the place of duality and looking at the positive and negative (the 2) or you can look at it from the place of the expansion and transcended consciousness of the 11. Either is your choice. You can contract into analyzing and protecting your self (the 2) or you can step into a place of overview and awareness (the 11). I like to think of it that you can analyze to death all the things in your limited reality (the 2) or your can get out of the room and open up to the infinite possibilities. Normally I find in this day a do a little bit of both. I have moments that I fall into the old fears and constrictions and then I open to trust the universe in every way and allow the process of life to assist me in breaking out of my habits and patterns. I am not my body’s wounding. I am not my DNA. The patterns of perception that I hold so dear do not control me unless I allow them. I am more than just this limited expression. The challenge today is to find a way to live moving toward my potential rather than live in the fears of the past.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Musings for 12/12/13

"I try to practice what I preach; I’m not always that good at it but I really do try. 

The other night, I was getting hard-hearted, closed-minded, and fundamentalist about somebody else, and I remembered this expression that you can never
 hate somebody if you stand in their shoes. I was angry at him because he was holding such a rigid view. 

In that instant I was able to put myself in his shoes and I realized, “I’m just as riled up, and self-righteous and closed-minded about this as he is. We’re in exactly the same place!” 

And I saw that the more I held on to my view, the more polarized we would become, and the more we’d be just mirror images of one another—two people with closed minds and hard hearts who both think they’re right, screaming at each other. It changed for me when I saw it from his side, and I was able to see my own aggression and ridiculousness."

Pema Chodron~

I just worked on the Catalyst Article for January 2014. On one level I felt as if I was being politically on my own soapbox and I had to step back just like in the quote above with Pema and look at my polarized view.

In the process of doing that, the article altered and softened. Just as my thoughts softened in my own head, my words softened on the page. I am constantly amazed at how my thoughts manifest in my reality very quickly. I have been through phases of my life where I have allowed others negative thoughts to infect me, like a virus. It is incredible how quickly you can get caught in the perceived mental drama of another’s beliefs and experience. It takes such strength of character, knowing of your core self, and astute awareness to catch it as it happens so you will not allow it to overwhelm your energetic system. I find the longer a pattern is allowed to roam free in your mind, the harder it is to get it out. That is why patterns formed in childhood can be so difficult to let go. It is possible but it takes deep self-compassion and gentle guidance from my higher self to support my human condition from collapsing into its habits of behavior.

So today, take a look at who is around you and how those people are either supporting your energy evolution and physical manifestation in the world or hindering it. For today, just gently remove yourself from the presence of those who are holding such negativity that you cannot stem the tide from hitting you. Give yourself permission to take a pause and regroup. In the stillness of your own center, remember you and them are all love. Feel your heart open and allow the love to expand a bubble outwards and touch them in a way that allows for them to grow. Sometimes this is easier to do from a distance. Especially when you are triggered. A bit of space never hurt. Most of the time it really helps. Then when you feel calmer and more balanced then step back into that person’s presence and test yourself to see if you can hold a positive energy bubble in their negative space. If not, take another break and keep working on it until you can maintain your own sense of self and presence while with them.

Numerology for 12/12/13
Added all together today is the number 3. The number 3 is the number of positive mind. Today take a look at all the situations that you want to reframe the negative to the positive. Close your eyes and envision each situation. See a tool or a possibility that might allow a different outcome. Try that on and keep adding a new circumstance until you find the way to shift that negative into something that works for you either in awareness or as an actual outcome.

Today will feel like a roller coaster ride. There will be wonderful highs but there also might be very low lows. Just be a duck on the water and ride the waves without reaction and drama. Feel inside that if you are a woman there are three of you inside, the virgin, the mother, and the crone. Allow them to dance together in a feminine integration of all that you have been, all that you are, and all that you will become.

If you are a man, see the reluctant hero, the hero, and the wisdom keeper. Notice that where you are resisting the constraint of life, this will cause you to be the reluctant hero. When you feel the place inside that wants to be challenged and win, that is the hero within. And finally feel the part of you that is beyond the testosterone rush of youth and looks through the eyes of knowing and experience, that is the wisdom keeper. All are of great value and all have something to teach you.

Allow this day of 3 to be a perfect moment of flow, fantasy, and refinement. Enjoy!

Musings for 12/11/13

Experience pain to the fullest. Do not try to run away from it, do not resist it by thinking of something else or by cursing fate. Open your arms to it, embrace it, ask it to do its worst to you. To go with it requires a moment’s plucking up of courage; it seems to invite disaster, yet oddly enough it is the only salvation.
~Alan Watts~

When you are a woman I feel it is as if you signed up for experiencing fullness in all forms. Just as a woman gives birth to life itself, at first there is tremendous contraction and learning the lessons of surrender to the physical laws of nature.  Here there is no day without night. There is no predator without a prey for it to hunt. There is no masculine without the feminine. Everything is constantly breathing like a giant lung. You breathe, the planet breathes, and life is constantly expanding and contraction all around us. Right now we are feeling the energy of contraction as the season gets colder and colder. The darkness is calling us to go inward. The temperature is waking us up to the fact that there is change coming. Our senses become heightened and we become more aware of the cycles of life and death. Perhaps that is because in this time of the year the pattern calls us all together to reflect and celebrate.
What do you celebrate and want to share about this past year? What have you accomplished? What have you overcome? Where have you grown? What are you proud of in your life?
Feel into that. Love what you have become. You are an amazing person. Now look ahead to the New Year. What do you want to accomplish. Set your intention now just like a seed being planted in the earth. And know that as the sun warms the land your seed will burst forth and create a thing of beauty and color for your world.

Numerology for 12/11/13
The numerology today adds up to the number 11 or if you add the 1 + 1 you get the number 2.  With this number pattern you have a choice. You can allow the 11 to collapse into the two or you can make a conscious decision to focus your energy towards the evolution of the number 2 into an 11.
If the number 2 is ruling your day you will feel as if you are contracting into a negative mind state. Instead of seeing the possibilities you will feel as if your mind is looping on a thought or belief. When this happens you feel trapped between two waves of energy, tossed back and forth but feeling as if you are getting nowhere. The mind is an endless maze and its most functional use is to remember past experiences and compare the past with the present reality. The problem is that each moment is actually unique. When you judge the present based on the past you create a repeating pattern of your life in which someone or something else is the problem. This pattern can allow you to have a limited view of reality and make you feel as if every day is a version of the movie, “Groundhog Day”. When this happens you can fall further and further into despair and anger.
But there is another way. That way requires you to break out of your habits and past beliefs, as well as, patterns of behavior. You can use the mind in its higher intended use. That is to step out of the past and step into the present, to take life from a place of objectivity and overview. Remember that life is not personal, even when it feels very personal. Life is just life. Bad things happen to great people.
A greater test is to see if you can see each moment as a fresh new day. To approach life with the wide eyed wonder of a child.
It takes courage to step out of the known into the unknown. It takes discipline to train the mind to become a servant to the soul and not the other way around. So when you step into this day, notice what level you are choosing to play the game. Are you allowing your negative mind to remind you of your past faults and then hold them over you like a big stick or are you going to allow yourself a moment to step out of the incessant thinking and learn to see life with a cooler and more objective eye? It is your choice.
The choice is expansion or contraction. Both are two sides of the same coin. Life is always about ups and downs. Especially when you take great leaps forward in your life it is quite common for the mind to try to collapse you down into a more familiar place. But to become great you must be willing to take risks and to rebel against the patterns of the mind that might keep you safe but are limiting you.
So today, take a calculated risk that stretches you a bit. See how that feels. You might just enjoy the exhilarating feeling of newness. Let the fresh air move through you and breathe in life in a way that allows for change and growth.