Monday, October 13, 2014

This blog was inspired by one of the amazing women from with Wild Women Symposium in October 2014

I just wanted to share my response to a lovely note on facebook from one of the Women at the Wild Women Symposium. I thought some of you might find it interesting.

Wow that was beautifully said! You should be a writer with how that just flowed out of you. Thank you for your heart and journey. That is the path. It is not easy but it is necessary to crack open the doorways into your true essence. From the time I was a child I found things very difficult also. I felt that I was different but not in some grandiose way but in a very common way. Standing was difficult, walking was difficult. Breathing was difficult. When I expressed that everyone looked at me like I was nuts or complaining. As a ballet dancer the teachers would scream at me, "Why are you breathing like a mule, Stop it." My thought was why is no one else breathing like a mule? Why can I not breathe properly. Everyone else makes ballet look so easy." My teachers would say over and over again, "Suzanne, No excuses, Just do it!" So I would try and try, again and again, sure that the problem was mine and I just needed to stop seeing my limitations as limitations. So I saw them as challenges or edges to lean into. Which worked to a large degree. The the Vedic Astrologers used to freak out seeing my chart and not in a good way but in a totally shutting down way. They labeled me, "Mangalic" which means malific or deformed, karmically labeled for hardship. And I could feel that life was hard but I found their superstition made me want to prove them wrong. (I have that tendency in my core that when you tell me something I am going to go in the opposite direction. They told me I would never be successful and that the "Gods" were against me. I knew that to be a lie. There were no Gods against me. This is life and life is there to teach you things. I began studying great gurus and found out how most of them had huge challenges to over come. Saints also. So then I thought I was at least in good company. And if they could do it so could I. But one of my friends who is a Zen Sensae says, "I have looked death in the eyes more often than anyone she knows. And it is true. I should be dead 10 times over at this point but instead of making me jaded about life I found that in those moments was a deep truth. In those moments I could feel the presence of guides and angels. I felt protected and not afraid. I realized that dying was actually very easy it was life that was difficult. I began to see the divine in each moment guiding me. I knew that the universe was not trying to kill me (because it had ample opportunity) it was trying to show! I heard them say over and over again, "If we can get you through fear we can get anyone on this planet through fear.." I discovered that my body did not have enough strength or energy to do what was required so from about the age of 9 I started asking for divine help and I would be flooded with huge waves of energy all around me. All I needed to do was ask. I realized that it is an illusion that you have to anything alone or by yourself. I struggled with hormone problems my whole life that no one would believe until the medical world grew up and finally understood a test that showed what I had been saying since I was 18 years old. I bless the Chinese doctors that have kept me alive with their herbs and acupuncture and I thank my guides and myself for being willing to spend money on that rather than eat at moments. The hormone imbalance also had me gain 60 pounds at one point and I had to really work hard to keep my mental and exercise discipline in place to get it off. It was only when I was finally 50 years old and got my first colonoscopy that they woke me up and said, "You are going for an MRI now. Your colon is 9 feet long instead of 6 feet long and if that is wrong than everything else in your abdomen is also going to be off." So sure enough they discovered that everything in my body is in the wrong place. It is too lengthy to go into here but their way of saying it is that in the first 10 divisions of the embryo dividing, it made mistakes and then kept making those mistakes. Suddenly every struggle made since. My bones are not straight and I have been holding myself upright with my muscles my whole life. I am missing things like a kidney, an adrenal, I am infertile,  ovaries are in the wrong places. etc. In that moment I understood the term, "Mangalic" I am challenged at every doorway. And it has been my body that taught me a huge lesson. You don't have to do anything alone. There is always energy and support out there for you. All you need to do it ask for help and when you ask from your authentic self you find others like you that are there to love and support your journey. I have been looking for my tribe also. And the amazing thing was that they were always here but I did not know how to recognize them because I got caught in my narrow world. So here we are. I am so glad you are here. We have been all looking for each other and it is with great gratitude that we are all at the same place of awakened awareness at the same time. That is amazing to me and once again reminds me that there is something outside of us all guiding us to this magical moment. I remember when I set foot in Salt Lake City. I heard the angels say, "This is the place of meeting for you. You are arrived at the agreed upon coordinates to connect with those from your past." I understand that now, finally at 54. Thank you angels and guides for allowing me to have this journey. It has been a beautiful and miraculous journey. Thank you for this body and these struggles. Thank you for never letting me go. Thank you for bringing my tribe back to me. Much love to you Amy and to you all.

Friday, October 10, 2014



Osho Zen Tarot: Consciousness, Beyond Illusion
Medicine Cards: Antelope, Skunk
Mayan Oracle:
Imix, Cauac
Ancient Egyptian Tarot: The Emperor, The Tower
Aleister Crowley Deck: Adjustment, Swiftness, Completion
Healing Earth Tarot: Grandmother of Crystals, The World
Words of Truth: Joy Self Rejection, Independent Resolution
The energy flows of the last few months have been enormous and as such the Skunk medicine jumps into the forefront of this months pattern. How you handle your energy and how others perceive that energy is of great consequence for November. On one level it is important to have a calm almost nonchalance attitude just like the skunk. On the other hand it is not good to put on airs or have others feel as if you are acting superior to them. Notice if your actions are repelling or attracting others and make the necessary adjustments. It is time to take action and leap into something that is compelling you forward. Learning how to make conscious choices and move forward is what November is all about.
The Antelope indicates that your judgment is sound and your ideas are well thought through so now is the time to leap. If you feel that instinct to move then it is critical to follow your intuition because listening to the voices in your head will not get you to where you wish to go. Are you willing to commit to your chosen destiny? Everything is trying to move you in that direction. You have the power that you are seeking. All you need to do is to trust that energy and allow it to unfold a new possibility for you.
Last month the old world came tumbling down but what you discovered was a newfound clarity and confidence. You understand that you need to be the authority for you. You know that others cannot possibly see all the nuances that your soul is seeking out to express its uniqueness. This is that moment when you have to trust yourself and allow the force within you to expand you out of your comfort zone and into the more balanced reality that is calling you to wakefulness. There is a joy that happens when you reject the voices that have been limiting you and allow your spirit to find a new place of center and balance. From the place of knowing your autonomy you can discover the hidden resources that are right there waiting for you to pick them up. In this month you can step beyond the illusion of your old self and into a more whole and unified awareness.
As Osho would say, “The distinction between the dream and the real is that the reality allows you to doubt and the dream does not allow you to doubt.” This month let go of the doubt and allow the dream within you to gain momentum. As it gains speed and energy you will learn to trust a force that is the dream manifesting in your life.
Doubt keeps us small. Dreams show us the limitlessness that is the possibility. Yes, you might need to work at manifesting the dream but never doubt the dream.
The dream that I had as a child is finally manifesting in a clear and concise way now that I am 54. The bigger the dream the more time it can take to manifest. But in the overall scheme of things that dream has always remained resolute. It has been modified and shifted to accommodate the physical world because after all we are learning how to manifest things in this dimension. But the core expression of that dream has always remained the same.

Keep it simple. Feel into what you wanted as a child. Feel into that dream and allow it to have some air and energy. Allow it to evolve. You cannot manifest something if you are not passionate about it. Your younger self was less afraid and more connected to your authentic heart and that heart’s expression. Look at how your life has been a quest to uncover and discover what that dream self wanted to manifest. You have always been doing that dream. You have never stopped seeking it. That is beautiful. Thank you inner child for that. Deep in you is a wisdom that has never let you go, never forgotten its higher intended mission, and has not gotten distracted off the dream.

Sunday, September 14, 2014


Osho Zen Tarot: Mastery, 
Medicine Cards: Opposum, Eagle, Swan
Mayan Oracle:
Manik, Polarity,
Ancient Egyptian Tarot: Prince of Cups, Nine of Disks, Ten of Disks
Aleister Crowley Deck: Queen of Wands, Lust, Ace of Disks
Healing Earth Tarot: Ten of Rainbows
Words of Truth: New Beginning, Expansion, Domain Shift
Prepare for a busy month. Are you ready for the Grand Fire Trine Oct 4-9 (Jupiter in Leo, Uranus in Aries, and Mars in Sagittarius) and a Uranus square Pluto, with a Mercury Retrograde, Oct 2-25, and a Lunar Eclipse Oct 8th with the last Solar Eclipse in Scorpio (for a moment) on Oct 23? If you are not then you better get ready. Here is how.

This month is packed and ready to rumble so do a double knot in those running shoes because you are not going to have a moment to lean over and retie those shoes with all this energy going on, you more likely to step right out of those shoes completely in the rush of forward movement.
Mars wants you to live by a strong moral code and will be sending you the desire for strong principles and a sense of justice. While Mars is firing up an ethical storm, Uranus is going to unleash truth revealing thunderbolts. It will be interesting to see what we find out as the blinding light of Uranus shines into the darkest corners and shadows. Be prepared to be shocked. Uranus and Jupiter both want freedom though Jupiter is associated with traditional religion will greatly benefit from Uranus’s enlightening influence.

Individually, these 3 planets represent powerful and irrepressible masculine energies. We have the mighty and magnanimous King (Jupiter in Leo) and reactionary and revolutionary (Uranus in Aries) and our crusading Hero (Mars in Sagittarius) all combining without restraint.
The negative side of all this is that chaos that may erupt from this grand trine in fire can be likened to Mania. You can expect to see some that are abnormally elevated, expansive, or in irritable moods, self inflated grandiosity, lack of sleep, desire for huge goals, unrestrained buying sprees, and foolish behaviors.

Remember that the propensity for hubris is massive under this grand trine. Don’t leave a trail of destruction in your wake. Remember when you feel on top of the world you can forget that there are also tender vulnerable parts that can actually get hurt also. Some of those parts are inside you and then there are those outside in your life. In the rush to discover and uncover yourself don’t forgot those who have helped along the way and have walked the path with you.

The positive side of this pattern is when the Mars, Uranus, Jupiter joins the Sun/Venus in Libra creating a picture like a kite. This effect is October 4-10 with its most intense aspect being October 7/8th. This energy will propel you to individuate and break out of past conditioning, forcing you to walk the path of your own truth and integrity.

Keeping your feet on the ground might be tough but fortunately the Libra planets, (Sun, Venus, Mercury Retrograde) and the South Node are insisting on staying grounded and keeping the higher instincts on harmonizing discord and mediation. Just remember to temper your temperamental side otherwise gaskets might get blown out. Slow down and allow the new conditions coming into play break you through if and when you are ready. This energy is so big you do not need you to force anything.

What does all this mean? It comes across as a reinterpretation of what religion is now. You can see the influence now with the Pope from the Catholic Church but you can also see it from the Muslim influence as well because of the extreme behavior of the Islamic State and how it is not just attacking other religions but even it’s own. This will force some sort of shift in perspective if not an outright shift in the tide of support for extremism. Meaning that things that go to extreme are being revealed as a no longer tolerable, even by their own kind. Old archaic distorted beliefs are potentially going to be shattered.

The Lunar eclipse on October 8th is power packed for revelation. The Solar eclipse on October 23 is inspiring to artists, innovators, music, film makers and those that are willing to risk for things that they believe in deeply.

In a nutshell, this month is going to reveal many things to you about your passionate self and those next steps that are needed in order to bring you into a place of clarity. Some of those things are going to be shocking. Some can get your ego intensely engaged and cause problems. Some are going to ignite the hidden things that have been lurking in the shadows waiting for the right moment to shift. What is clear is that your perspective on (potentially) many things is going to be different by then end of this month. Many things are going to be seen in a new light.

That will be refreshing after you get past the shock of it all.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Numerology Class in Middletown, CA January 17-18,2015

I invite all of you that are interested to my Numerology Class in Hidden Valley Lake, near Middletown, CA January 17-18, 2015.

Tarot Class in Laytonville, CA October 17-18, 2014

I will be doing a class on Tarot in Laytonville, CA October 17-18, 2014. I hope some of you can join us.



Osho Zen Tarot: Turning In, Possibilities
Medicine Cards: Grouse, Mountain Lion
Mayan Oracle:
Cimi, Ik, Organic Balance
Ancient Egyptian Tarot: The Moon, Four of Cups
Aleister Crowley Deck: Sorrow, The Magus, Princess of Cups
Healing Earth Tarot: Ten of Pipes, Seven of Rainbows
Words of Truth: Domain Shift, Boundaries, Rebellion
I know that everyone is getting so exhausted with the constant global crisis that seems to plague us right up to the end of all these squares between Uranus in Aries and Pluto in Capricorn. The last two are December 15, 2014 and March 16-17, 2015. This painful back and forth between the old and the new reality is what is causing so much upset. I know that many of us would love to go back to an easier time when things were more peaceful and balanced but in such patterns sometimes we get complacent, which then needs to shift and wake the world back up to the conflicts that have been being ignored. Radical and often dramatic shifts in how society functions put countries and governments under tremendous pressure when this happens and clearly we are all feeling it.
There is really so much more complex astrology going on that that but in an attempt to keep it simple and in a flow of understanding this is how it is going. First and foremost I want to say that the planets are always in motion and they constantly give us options to choose from. We place value on certain positions and chose directions for our world. Options are always available to us in more positive directions and more negative ones. It is essential that in this volatile period that calm heads prevail in the fiery intensity that surround us all. We are heading towards another big month in October with eclipses in Aries October 8 and the last solar eclipse in Scorpio on October 23. I am mentioning them here because you will be feeling a buildup in the month of September. This helps me to not think I am crazy or it is just me feeling this way.
We begin the month of September with Mars finally coming out of a conjunction with Saturn on September 4th. You will feel as if everyone including yourself, has an opinion and wants to take a stand on something. Mars does not like discipline and Saturn is all about structure, authority, and limitation. The outcome is some form of conflict. Hence we see suppression of one group from a callous unfeeling other group. Attempt to keep those energies conscious and in communication with each other within your own being and family. Try to turn this energy into great precision and determination to get a job done.
Old realities and illusions are being torn down violently to expose the anger, violence, greed, and hatred that has been boiling below the surface. These are issues that are a part of humanity but it is showing a disease and that illness is separation. Take a look at where you are feeling separated and find a doorway back to oneness. In that way we heal our small part of the greater whole. It will be difficult to stay centered right now. Do it anyway. We may not be able to fix the world but we can fix the small part of our own world. Together that can create an energetic shift that hopefully goes out to the world in supportive ways.
The cards show much darkness. The mood is heavy and filled with confusion. Our inner child is frightened and feeling uncertain as to the direction to take. The desire for movement is there but the restrictions remain making us feel constant boundaries that hold us back. For some that will feel as if energetically you are exhausted and you are but it is from the emotional toil that we are all weathering. There is a desire to protect your inner child and other’s children. In such times it is the innocent that suffer the most.

All this is forcing a major domain shift in how we handle situations. Whether or not we are going to like it or not is up to the global consciousness that is holding this container of life at the moment. We will see leadership that is strong enough to handle this reality stepping up to bat in this game. I expect there will be a strong voice surfacing in the month of September and that is a relief because there does not seem to be a voice that reflects the larger consciousness right now as I write this article in August. We can no longer afford to be lazy in our understanding of the interconnectedness of all of us. The voice of love will overcome the loud small voices of the petty tyrants but just like a parent dealing with a spoiled child, there has to be a clear line and a lot of love to make anything stick.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014



Osho Zen Tarot: Courage, Patience, Postponement
Medicine Cards:
 Blank Shield, Snake
Mayan Oracle:
 Etznab, Shadow
Ancient Egyptian Tarot:
 Ace of Swords, Nine of Cups, Prince of Wands
Aleister Crowley Deck:
 Princess of Cups, Cruelty, Prince of Wands
Healing Earth Tarot: Five of Pipes, Ace of Shields, Grandfather of Feathers
Words of Truth:
 Abundance, Maturity, Power

We seem to have a repeating theme this month being reflected in many of the cards. The Mayan Oracle card “Etznab” represents; timelessness, discrimination, clarity, hall of mirrors, spiritual warriorship, sword of truth, facing shadow, and the integration of the paradox. This card becomes a repeating theme reflected in the other cards so this indicates that we need to dive into these elements.

If you are in a hall of mirrors, your attitude is going to be reflected all around you in many forms. If you start this month with anger and resentment, then that is going to be magnified to a degree that could make you very miserable. However, if you adopt the attitude of joy, expansion, and abundance then that is going to be reflected all around you, which is a much better idea. The reason for this is that Jupiter (the planet of beliefs and faith) is in Leo. Jupiter is a fire planet and Leo is a fire sign indicating that there is going to be a burst of energy that is intended to expand all of us in ways that can be wonderful if you recognize that whatever you feel is going to be what is magnified.

And as a reminder, your thoughts create your reality; so being mindful of what you are creating is going to get bigger so you might want to use some tools and discipline to not let your mind run amuck in your life.

If you happen to get a more negative/shadow reflection come up, see it as a gift to wake you up to a place where you are co-creating a pattern that you need to become more conscious of in your life.

When you have this much fire it is imperative to see that the Angel of Truth is going to cut through the cords of your illusions in some radical and clarifying ways. If you are holding onto fear then that fear is going to show up so that you can release and forgive others. If you have been believing in an illusion that illusion is going to shatter and break down forcing you to take a hard look at the truth and the reality that you have created.

None of this is bad news. You are growing up to a new level of awareness. You are actively involved in your own levels of power and learning to utilize that power to improve your life and circumstances. The two Prince of Wand cards are reaffirming that you have the swiftness and strength to get to your goals but you have to consider both sides of each argument and take all information into account before making your decision. Take a look at your personal traditions and history and decide where those aspects are helping or hindering your forward progress.

As this Jupiter aspect is just beginning the cards are also indicating that you are initiating a new journey but you are not there yet. You need to cultivate courage and be willing to step boldly onto the path in front of you. Yes, you might hit a few delays but your enthusiasm is happening now and you want to initiate that forward motion while that impulse is there.

There is much energy to be found right now by addressing the shadow within you. When you face your fears and let go of the old pain that has stopped you before, you will discover that there has been a tremendous amount of energy locked up in your shadow. Begin the transformation process by confronting your own distorted reflections and seeing how much energy you are using to suppress aspects that perhaps are not so bad. Let the intention of love heal and open up those parts so you have access to the energy once again. It is hard to accomplish much when you are using a lot of your life force to suppress your totality. Let go; trust your own energy and flow. Let the Divine be the guiding force in your life, and know that every part of yourself is perfectly loved in the Universe.