Thursday, August 25, 2011

Why does the universe keep giving me purple when I want scarlet red?

Here I am again, navigating the patterns of Northern California. I am presently in Walnut Creek working on ways to flow and integrate with this energy shift that is my life. I am so grateful that I have so many loving and supportive clients and friends in my life. I am even more grateful that I seem to finally have time to connect on a much deeper level with those friends and clients. It is wonderful to feel a very different flow of timing and life right now.

The theme has been one of slowing down and allowing myself to find a more organic space from which to manifest my life. I am so blessed with safety and support during this time and I send out the wish and prayer that everyone who reads this will also experience the same when they come to doorways of transformation in their life.

I know that the universe protects and supports us when we make big shifts but it is scary to test that theory at times.

Presently we are navigating a Neptune retrograde (which will last until November) that is causing many to feel lost and confused as to what the next place and pattern is in their life. It is like you are in a fog bank and you cannot see where you are going. Yet, you know you are going someplace. You know you are taking steps every day. You know that those steps will lead you somewhere eventually. And yet you do not know where your spirit is leading you.

It is in these moments that I fall back into faith with myself. It is not really about having faith in others. It is about believing in the fact that every moment of your life creates meaning and colors your tapestry with potential and beauty. Some days you do not know why everything just turned purple. You may not even like purple in that moment. But purple is what you have. So where do you put the purple? What are you to do with this sudden influx of a new energy that you were not expecting?

That is where the art of life comes into play.

It is about accepting what is. Accept what is offered. Do not question it. Just allow it to be. What becomes difficult is when you (metaphorically) want scarlet red but you keep getting purple.

That is when the frustration comes in. I ask myself the question, "Why do those people not give me what I am asking for? Why won't they give me scarlet red? They know I want it so badly but are they dense and do not see or are they purposely not giving it to me to irritate me?"

In reality it is simple. The universe gives you what you need not what you want. And it gives you what you need to grow and move past your karma. Life is not about making you comfortable. It is about making you uncomfortable enough to notice unresolved issues and patterns that still block your complete and total awareness in this life.

So again, I step into gratitude as to what I have because it is obviously what I can handle and what I need in order to move into other realms of existence.

I ask myself the question do I want to be content or do I want to be whole?

Personally, I go for wholeness. But that choice can make my life a constantly changing equation of magic, metaphors, and mayhem. And I would not have it any other way.

So it is also important to know what you signed up for in this life. There are no wrong choices. There are only your personal preferences and lessons that you came in to experience.

Love yourself. Love your life. Love your family. Love the drama. Love the intensity. Love the emotions that crop up. And live a full life.

Friday, August 05, 2011

The Dance of the Dolphin and the Hummingbird

The month of September seems to be a mixed bag of aggravation and opportunities. There are moments when you can relax into the new emerging pattern of your life and then other moments when the aggravation and frustration of the world situation will feel as if life is going to get the better of you.

Times like these remind me of that Chinese curse, “May you live in interesting times.”

We are in a very interesting time. Every generation has its complex moments that are designed to make those of that time stretch into unknown territories. This particular time is filled to the brim with massive shifts of consciousness and global responsibility. Conflicts seem more conflicted. Shifts seem more dramatic. Nothing seems to be done in a small way anymore.

It is the extreme swings that seem to be getting to everyone.

This month you might wish you could just have a break for one moment. I am afraid that none of us will get off this hook so easily.

In times of great stress we find the depth of our courage. In times of great sorrow we find our compassion for humanity.

When the old reality is torn away and you find yourself in the place of the unknown you learn how to make your dolphin and hummingbird dance together.

This is a beautiful metaphor for this month. How does one make two totally different archetypes find the balance to work and flow together?

The answer is to make it a dance.

I use the model of dance because to dance well you have to have some skill, some awareness of movement, some control, and the desire to abandon yourself beyond your minds coaching that you might look like an idiot. To get a dolphin and a hummingbird to dance together becomes a great challenge.

The dolphin is a smart watery archetype that has a playful quality. The hummingbird is a beautiful, quick, fragile, air creature. Yet, they have energies that can find the balance to dance and flow together with practice.

The trick is practice.

Practice allows for strength to come in and give you choice and the ability to adapt. Skill gives you the confidence to know that you can find the way. Abandon is the ultimate goal when you combine the strength of practice and the confidence that comes from skill. Only with both can you create art that takes you beyond the form into the formless.

A hummingbird knows one dynamic, air. The dolphin is the master of the water element. But each has to step beyond their comfort zone to connect. Each has to overcome the fear that they are stepping beyond what they are familiar with. When you are no longer in the flow that is most natural you must rely on instinct and trust in something that is divine that flows between all life forms.

Each archetype has to learn to trust. But what are you trusting. It is not about trusting others. It is about trusting your own flow, your own awareness, and your own body/mind to give you an experience beyond the present constructs of your life.

Each of us has had many negative experiences. But each moment is unique. Each impacting moment is completely different than anything you have experienced previously. It is very difficult to not want to put events into boxes from our past failures.

Instead make the flow a dance and allow more awareness to fill your consciousness. With awareness you stay alert to potential missteps and bumping into things unconsciously. With awareness you connect to the deeper heart within all things and the natural curiosity of nature reveals its many splendored patterns.

That is where the growth is. Not in the routine of mundane existence but in the exploration beyond the known into the alternative realms of universal creation.

This is a month where you can dance spontaneously something graceful and unique if you play the game of conscious intent. If you are the dolphin, try not to get your hummingbird wet because then she will not be able to fly.

If you are the hummingbird try not to move unconsciously because that dolphin jumping out of the water to dance with you might miscalculate where you are. Breathe into the rhythm of each other.

Let go of your patterns and desire to do it your way. Only by reaching out to each other in the language of compassion and play can we find a unique expression that will open us to something new and divine.

We become our best self when we are not paying attention to our wants, needs, or desires but learn to feel into others.

This month is about knowing that our conscious presence is the gift to others. It is not about what we want to give others. It is not about what we think is our gift. It is about becoming so aware that we can see and give what someone else needs. It is then that we are dancing with them. And it gives them an opportunity to dance with us.

We are in interesting time no matter what. It is about what you do with those moments and how you experience them. Will you allow the intense energies to thrash you against the rocks or will you learn how to go with the flow. There is beauty in everything. There is beauty in intensity. There is depth in letting go. There is divinity in reaching beyond the known.

Have a beautiful dance this September!

Expansion and the Allowing of the Energy of August to Bring You Inner Peace.

I thought this fun/crazy hair picture from Hawaii last year would be fun to put on the blog. I seem to have curl when I am in that kink of wind and humidity. Hope you all have a great laugh.

I have finished 95% of the building of my new office extension on my home in California. So right now I am sitting overlooking the beautiful redwoods and Mendocino coast in the distance. I have some of my furniture out of storage and I am feeling more settled and at peace.

What a long and emotional road this shift has been for me. There has been so much happening over the past year and a half. The letting go of the old patterns within myself has been insightful. As a Leo, (a fixed fire sign) I find some types of big changes to be challenging.

I must admit to you that this has probably been the biggest shift I have ever done in my life.

After being tucked in, safe and secure, in Salt Lake City since 1982, the process of moving and letting go of so many things that I had seen as security in my life, has been a tremendous gift. It also has made me question so many aspects of my reality and redefine what is important in life.

I am so grateful to be on this side of the shift but I must tell you that my mind struggled with the complete rearranging of my habits and tendencies. I know it is good to shake things up but the process of admitting to myself that what I had created was no longer serving the growth of my soul was very difficult.

It has been an amazing process to begin to find another pace than the one that I have lived my life by for so long. But I am getting the hang of it now and I am so appreciative to be able to spend more time with clients without feeling rushed. I am finding a deeper intimacy with my clients, more humor and grace, and an ability to feel intuitively into the subtle energy patterns of each person in a new and amazing way.

The result has been clients growing and expanding much more rapidly and a newfound confidence in the intuitive information that I am giving them. It is as if I have a key to a new place within that is allowing me to explain and share information in a way that serves and opens.

At times I have amazed myself! I have been able to feel more depth than ever before. It is as if the redwoods are teaching me the power of stillness and observation.

It is a beautiful thing.

There really is no choice but to flow with this pattern of energy that is here. The breath of the redwoods dominates the entire space. I feel the redwoods call the moisture off the ocean at night and then I watch the mist roll in responding to the call of the trees. The mist bathes everything in magical light. The quiet allows the most subtle sound to suddenly seem large. The trees and forest are like a giant lung breathing in and out. The mountains and forest breathe in and with wind comes up the mountain from the ocean bringing the moisture. Then the wind from the land, exhales and the wind flows down the mountain with its warmth.

It is natural. It is organic. It is peaceful. And I feel it taking over my body and breathing me into its flow.

Then there are moments like right now, where the wind is silent. No wind, no movement, stillness and a deep pause of peace. This energy is regenerative and calming.

How much my nervous system has needed and longed for this place. I find it amazing how a location can change your entire perspective and mindset.

My past life had been a busy, conglomeration of cities, art, culture, languages, philosophy, and metaphysical seeking. I have always loved nature and that is what drew me to move in the direction of the shamanic teachings of north and south America. It is amazing that when you allow a person to go back into nature, how much nature teaches from the place of silence, acceptance, and trust.

In our desire for success and constant movement we can loose site of the things that give us what we are really seeking, which is an acceptance and understanding of our self. We think we will accept ourself when we have success, money, fame, or power. But the first step is to know yourself from a deep place of love and understanding.

How can you connect in a deep way to another if you do not know how to connect with your own deepest self.

I have a client that is awakening to the rewiring of her entire nervous system because of an Asian energy practice.

I am watching with amazement how she is unfolding the dysfunctional aspects of her nervous system and begin to learn how to run energy in a more healthy way for her body. I can see her mind as it wants to yank her back into the old habits. I can see the struggle between organic expression of mind and body and the desire of the mind to continue the patterns of the past.

Fortunately, I know what is going to win. The power of health, balance, and well being is always stronger if the person has the opportunity to find tools that with allow them to experience another way that has ease and grace.

So take the warmth of August and allow yourself to expand and explore new opportunities for yourself. You will find yourself and in doing that the happiness you feel for you will expand and infuse love and light to all you know.