Understanding Feminine Trust

The feminine wants to learn to trust her partner but this is often difficult because she will have learned to trust him in some small ways but in other places she will not have fully opened her heart to him.

The masculine needs to learn how to feel into the feminine heart moment-by-moment. Once he learns that skill, he needs to remember that the feminine will lie and not necessarily tell him what would work or what she needs.

Sometimes it is because she does not know herself. Sometimes it is because she does not want to let go of the power that she has gained in the second stage masculine shell that she created. Often it is because in the hormonal complexity of being feminine creates a constant state of change and confusion. Women define their self worth as to how they can help and serve others. Women train themselves into feeling into others rather than feeling into what they might need in this moment. A woman can become horribly distracted by the needs and feelings of others she loves, thereby negating herself to the point of such internal stress that she no longer actually knows what will work to open her back up again. This causes such tremendous stress that she can get to the point of exhaustion and become so tired that she does not know what will break her out of the pattern.

This is how women get stuck in ruts.

So when a man makes a suggestion to a woman under such pressure, she might just snap and lash out in sheer frustration and exhaustion. This is because often a mans suggestion sounds like one more thing she needs to do.

Men need to learn that for a woman to trust, you cannot take a tone of lording over her, tell her what to do, preach to her in a way that she thinks you are speaking down to her, or be condescending. Know that women most often react to tone of your voice and your body stance much more than to what you are saying.

Women in general respond to praise rather than confrontation.

This is not what the masculine is used to as men will often respond to challenge or confrontation. That pattern will often collapse emotionally strongly feminine women.

The more you can stay relaxed in your body in an unflappable way, look deeply into her eyes, penetrate her heart, breath with her for a moment, bring her back to presence with you in the now, touch her in a way that lets her know she is the light of your life, and then use humor to allow her to step out of the drama that she feels is her constant companion, then she will learn how to bodily trust you more and more.

If that last paragraph sounds impossible to a man, you now know why your feminine partner does not trust you. Women know that they are very strong and can do most things. But really deep down in their heart they do not want to do it all the time.

An example of a masculine person navigating a feminine person well was when a feminine person I know was totally overwhelmed from work and her life but she had managed to get to this group meeting at my office. She had just come in the door for this meeting but she had been battling an illness, deadlines, and a marriage that was breaking apart. She looked exhausted and yet she had come to the event because this was important to her. Another masculine person in the group listened to her litany about how stressed she was. A good masculine person will know to allow the storm of the emotions of the feminine to wash over him and just be steady like the shore of the ocean. At the right moment, he just chimed in: “That sounds like you deserve a watermelon moment!”

At which point she broke into a smile and visibly relaxed. Even she noticed that the negative energy just suddenly drained away from her and she felt more energized and present. His action allowed her to open appropriately in that particular context.

When a man can begin to feel beyond a woman’s resistance, her patterns of protection, her need to validate herself by helping others, and her need to be in control then he becomes a man that is trustworthy.

Trust to the feminine is a complex pattern that is constantly testing the masculine. Men need to understand that the test never ends. Men need to remember that they will fail over and over. But this is not a disaster if you know how to shift quickly when you have failed to earn your woman’s trust.

An easy example is when there is a discussion that turns into an argument. As a man, it is very important to know that the feminine is almost always right in the domain of subtle emotional expression, energy, and how something flows in life. That does not mean that her plan or strategy will necessarily work. That is where the masculine reigns supreme. Masculine energy loves to create plans, strategies, and structures to get things accomplished. The feminine can create a plan but that plan will often include everyone else’s issues and needs but not necessarily her own. It will still be a good plan but if a woman has created a strong trustworthy masculine partner, he will be able to make small shifts that allow her to also feel complete and loved.

But during an argument there is a tricky energy pattern at work. Each person is seeing from his or her own particular angle of perception. Each is correct but they may not be able to see the other’s perspective clearly. Masculine partners need to learn to validate the feminine, energetic, subtle feedback. The feminine partner needs to learn how to give that feedback in a way that does not make the hackles of her masculine partner go up.

The way to earn feminine trust is for the masculine to get the message that the feminine is attempting to give him and to admit where he was off as quickly as he can. This will allow her to let go also.

This is not easy to do when you are triggered.

The masculine partner needs to trust that the feminine partner really wants to have her man be the best that he can be. She may not know how to say it well (especially when she is triggered) but he needs to hear her. The feminine desperately needs to feel heard and understood by her partner. So masculine partners you need to know that this is very challenging to you because it will feel as if she is talking in a million different directions all at once. It will be hard to track. But if you can sort the truth from the upset and emotionality of your feminine partner, you win the game.

Because the moment you get it, she will feel you shift bodily inside. And instantly the argument is over for her. It is as if it never happened.

Feminine partners constantly respond to the bodily energetic response from everyone and everything around her. If she feels you get it then she can totally let go of her emotional response.

Now I must say here that there are women that have habits to emotionally beat up their partners and they will not drop it because they are attached to the drama. This is not the normal healthy feminine. The best way to stop such a pattern is for the masculine partner to walk out of the room and not respond to a woman who wants to constantly continue the drama after it is no longer necessarily.

If a man can be strong and get the information in a way that his feminine partner can feel, then it is a huge relief emotionally and energetically to his feminine partner.

I have had partners in my life that got it and even said, “Okay, I totally hear and understand what you just said and you are right! So can we start this whole conversation over again from the beginning?”

That experience was so wonderful that to this day I cannot even remember what the upset was about. I could feel him viscerally shift and there was no more need for a discussion. The trigger just evaporated.

Intuitive Patterns for the Month of August 2009

The month of August is a storm of disappointment, change, transformation and breakthroughs. Unfortunately, this does not bode well for the money markets or financial systems. The Tower card is always an indication of sudden change in fortune. So be advised to make cautious moves and protect what you have during this tumultuous change that will probably take us into the Fall.

There has been an upturn in the markets, which has everyone breathing a sign of relief. But now the pattern is again changing making everyone question the present rally. Between the global threats and tremendous instability in the Middle East we cannot let our guard down. Unheeded warnings might give us a false sense of security. But destructive tendencies are afoot that can cause anxiety and force us to look at the truth in our personal and economic situations. 

I personally hope this pattern happens internally in each of us rather than actually being something that has a global impact but I think it is something that we need to be prepared for on all levels. If you are prepared than you are always okay in the end. If you do not pay attention, life has a tendency to wake you up rather harshly.

The cards this month counsel on taking one day at a time. Make constant adjustments as the situations are changing rapidly and unpredictably. Yet, hope is also there and if you do not get greedy or abuse the situations in which you find yourself, tremendous breakthroughs of consciousness and awareness are possible.

Guidance is very active at this time in your life and so heed the advice of those who love you and those who spontaneously show up to assist and help. Angels come in all forms. Listen to the messages that are repeating all around you. Pay attention to your dreams. Be like a squirrel and gather up your nuts and know that there will be a time ahead when you might need them. Now is not the time to take outrageous risks. Watch your personal physical energy and make sure you are taking care of yourself.

Breakthroughs happen when we are finally tired enough of hearing our old self-defeating conversation or when we are tired of others telling us what is our truth.

There is a moment when you cannot stand the present situation any longer and you feel as if “Enough is enough”. This month will feel like you are compelled to do something, anything, even if it turns out wrong, just to throw off the old shackles and restrictions that you feel have been limiting you.

It is always amazing to me that when you finally decide to allow your truth to stand up, an amazing amount of energy is also freed up. This gives you a surge of life force that revitalizes your very being. You feel as if you are finally aligned with the flow of your life and your life’s purpose when you let go of beliefs and perspectives that have limited your understanding of self.

It is only be confronting the aspects within that feel blocked that we are finally able to step into a place of mature wholeness. You are a constant expression of the patterns of spring. At any time you can blossom forth and your entire perception can become inclusive and accepting rather than judging and separating. The seasons are there to remind us that no matter how bad a particular winter of our life feels, inevitably there is a spring that breaks us out of our cycle of stagnation to a more expansive expression of who we are.

Have a wonderful August.

The Goddess Temple in Sante Fe, New Mexico

Sharing of an Amazing Experience I had in Sante Fe

While on my latest adventures to Sante Fe, New Mexico, I had the opportunity to meet one of my clients who owns the most fabulous retreat center just outside of Sante Fe. The Center is called the Heart-Path Retreat Center.  

When I walked on the property I was amazed at what this lovely intuitive woman, Silvana had created.  The entire 17,000 square feet of buildings been designed, not by an architect, but they had been done intuitively by Silvana.  

As a woman I had never felt the feeling that I felt on this property.  It was totally feminine, goddess energy everywhere you went.  It was all I could do to not sit down and begin sobbing in gratitude for a place for the feminine that was healing and transformative.  The grounds had ancient cottonwood trees that had branches so large that they reached the ground. There were canals for water, ponds, an island in the pond, huge shade trees, stone picnic benches enough to seat 50 for a wedding, a Stonehenge made of nature Arizona stone, gardens, vineyards, meditation spaces, it just went on and on.  

But what was even more amazing to me were the buildings.  She had created a hacienda for 30 people with each room different and with different themes.  There were the India rooms, the Tantra rooms, the Japanese rooms, the Sante Fe rooms, the Native American rooms, etc.  There were kitchens that most women would dream of having.  All of them were spectacular.  Some of the walls were done in the old fashion of adobe covered with bees wax.  This left the walls with a wet, warm feeling.  It was gorgeous.  She also created a huge temple that could easily hold 50 participants for a workshop. Everywhere were meditation places, fireplaces, hand carved doors and beams in the ceilings, with Italian lighting.

Then to top it all off she had a store that had some of the most beautiful painting, jewelry, scarves, statues, and toys for any goddess.  I wanted practically everything in the store.  Too bad I am not made of money.  Perhaps that is a good thing.

I wanted to let others know about this place because there are so many retreat centers in Sante Fe but I have never seen one like this.  For myself it was a healing experience for my feminine and even right now I am not the same.  Somehow what she had created was a perfect blend of intuitive flow, fung shui, earth energy, and goddess honoring, all put together.

So if you ever wanted to get away for 3 days or longer, write a book, teach a workshop, or just have an experience of a life time the information for the center is as follows:


The Heart-Path Retreat Center-Silvana Pagani
PO Box 3620 
Sante Fe, New Mexico  87501
(505) 455-7335
www.marketive.com/sp_center.html

I put the Japanese symbol for wisdom at the top of this blog because I wanted to remind everyone that to have knowledge is good but to have wisdom you must have experiences "bodily".  If you have been chosen to be on this planet at this time you are very blessed because so many beings of light would love to have the experience of creation that you are having right now.  

I truly believe that we are all beings of light and we chose to come here to explore physicality and creation.  These are very difficult things to learn and if you are here, there is something about you that is unique and special for this particular evolution of consciousness on this planet.  There have ben moments when you do not feel as if you are not accomplishing much and then there are other times of magic and miracles.  We all want to understand why some things work and some things do not manifest as we predicted.  That is the nature of this game.  

Can't you feel how humanity is on the brink of something incredible?  The tension and power of transformation is as palpable as the electricity in the air before the lightening strikes.  I hope you are reading this newsletter and that the feeling that I am trying to convey awakens and stimulates something within you to open.  You can be the fullest expression of yourself. You can heal all the wounds and traumas that your human experience has suffered.  But you are the only one who can decide the moment, time, and place of transformation.  For some of us, we have to get pissed off at the universe enough to push back and finally say, "No!  I am not going to stop growing even if it kills me.  I am not going to let other's perceptions drag me down.  I am not going to believe in the limitations that surround me."  It is those moments that change you forever. But some things you must do for you because you are worth it.  At some point, you need to decide to believe that your unique qualities have something to offer this planet.  It is only then that you can step beyond self doubt and touch the part of you that is divine light and love.  Those moments are the ones that you dream about.  But they can happen right here, right now.  If you choose.

You will always have moments of self doubt.  It is the nature of being human.  You will always make mistakes.  It is how you grow and become better and better.  Do not be afraid of stretching out of your safety nets.  The innocent are always safe in the soft touches and protection of God's hand when you attempt new things.  Why is it that as adults we loose the nerve that we had so strongly as youngsters.  But know those parts are still within.  You are more than your body.  You are more than your knowing.  You are more amazing than you want to let yourself believe.  

Take a risk this month and find out that the limits that you have told yourself are a lie.  You will feel freer and more awake. You will feel less bored and less tired.  Energy awakens when you open to the possibilities.  We are touching at the doorways of new possibilities.  What do you want to create with your life?

Return To Love

Can you see the riverboat as it comes back in?
Carrying the consorts of past love and sin?
They have come back home to the place where they belong.
They come back in singing the ancient songs.
The songs from the past that were long forgot.
The songs for the future that have not been caught.
Caught by the karma. Caught by the fear.
Caught by the sadness. Caught by the tears.
We are here again. We could not be bought.
We are the life force that cannot be taught.
We teach by experience. We teach in the now.
We show you your bodies. We show you how.
How to be whole. How to be complete.
How to feel. How to beat.
Beat the mind into silence and learn to be.
Beat the body into surrender with grace and ease.
So come with us as we open the path.
That has been hidden beneath all your mind’s math.
We have come not to organize your thoughts.
But to give you relief from all of its’ knots.
Peace can come with the touch of our hand.
Let yourself go and follow our commands.
We are the pulse of life itself.
We are the plants, animals, and elfs.
We are sisters connecting beyond time and space.
We are women of heart, beauty, and grace.
Though some of us you see from a frightened haze.
We are much more than your sight betrays.
So remember as we step back on your land.
That what you think is real is just sand.
Sand that is blown by the winds of change.
That have come around to rearrange.
The ways of love and the ways of joy.
The pleasures mankind tried to destroy.

The Five Dhyani Buddhas- Poem

Do you hear the rippling under the ground?
Something is coming alive. Some thing is coming around.
The time is ripe and the sleep is falling away.
The earth is ready to reveal its buffet.
The dakini's are calling the daka's to dance.
The demons are ready to make their advance.
The elephants feet stomp the lightening explodes.
Hatred and anger finally implode.
The white lion radiates out the light.
As ignorance and delusion shatter into delight.
The golden horse smells the storm and allows me to ride
As I watch humanity dissolve desire and pride.
I feel myself divided into two.
Half a man and half an emu.
The touch of a feather brushes our hand,
Then envy and jealousy melt as planned.
The feathers of the peacock whose eyes were closed
Open to heal the evils disposed.
Can you see the center with your sight?
Can touch the malice that inside you fight?
Can you hear the anger within before the storm?
Can you taste the passion in the malice reformed?
Can you smell the compassion in the connection of love?
Do you finally remember that up above,
You cannot control and you cannot die.
You are immortal and together we fly.
Every night into the storm.
Screaming the lightening we allow others to be born.
You are the wheel that turns endlessly round.
You are the lotus floating on the ground.
You are the thunder calling to the souls,
That desire to come for reasons untold.
You are the jewels. Cannot you see?
You are the rainbow exploding from the sea.
You are the time between light and sound.
That is why the earth circles round.

Patterns for July 2009 - You can never be too early

Dear Bloggers:

I do many things ahead of time in the publishing business so I am uploading the information that will be for July 2009 today. At least this gives you an advanced perspective and opportunity to plan ahead. Enjoy

Those of you who have been waiting for a break in the energy, your wait might finally be over. At least for a minute or so. But at this point any break comes with a huge feeling of gratitude and relief. This is a tremendously transformative time and so the waves of change are getting bigger and bigger. I like to think of this time as an opportunity to become a great surfer. The waves of change are rolling in slightly bigger with each set and this gives us an opportunity to practice and develop some skills.

Think for a moment, back in time. Say five years ago. Think of what you were doing at that time and now think about all you are doing now. You will quickly realize that you have grown a lot and have many more coping skills than before. The things that would have frightened you then do not seem so hard now. So this growth curve is going to continue. Don’t panic! Just give yourself the time to adapt and learn how to ride these big waves of consciousness. After all what is life if there are not a few thrills along the way.

July brings with it some great gains and positive shifts for the financial picture. Thank the Stars! Now, I know we have a long way to go to catch up but there does seem to be a trend towards prosperity and lucrative business adventures. But do not fall asleep and go into fantasy and delusion. There are still some rocky moments ahead and now is the time to tuck that extra away and save it for when you really might need it in 2010. But this financial relief will allow each of you to relax a bit and feel more freedom and confidence.

So take all steps with integrity and create clear structures and strategies. Ask others for advice and be willing to listen to their perspective, even if it is not in agreement with your own. Plan the next year out for yourself. Find the rhythm that will work for you. You will have to still be willing to break down your own illusions and that is why listening to those who are wiser and more skilled than you is a real asset. Take precautions to see where the darker aspects within your life might just rear up their heads and surprise you.

This is a time when you will have to become more and more present to ever changing circumstances. Allowing yourself to fall into patterns of complacency will get you slammed by that next wave that is about to hit you.

Know that those waves are not hitting you to hurt you. They are hitting you to make you more conscious of the parts within that you cannot see clearly. What ever is the problem; know that is just a reflection of a suppressed aspect that you have been unwilling to see clearly. Those people and situations in our life that trigger us, only trigger us because we are either in resistance to the truth that they represent or we hold qualities of that person or situation that are unloved and un-integrated within us.

To me the question is, “How do you learn to love and honor all the reflections of life around us?” This is a difficult thing to do. So I try to take one small step at a time. Years ago, I figured out that if I said, “Thank you.” Silently in my mind when I noticed someone who triggered me and “I love you.” Also silently. I would notice that people would viscerally shift their energy. But now I add at the beginning, “I am sorry.” And I fill in the rest of the sentence. Then, “Thank you…” And finally, “And I love you….”

This is a great way to practice integrating the mirrors and triggers within our lives. When I say these words silently, people will feel accepted, understood, and loved. The energy goes out from me and they finally can let go of the negative mirror that they might even believe is true. After all we are all human. We all feel the same feelings. We all experience love and loss. We all are trying our very best even if some of those patterns are really dysfunctional and we might be unable to see it until we make ourselves miserable enough to change. So as I learn how to have compassion for others, I learn how to have compassion for my disowned archetypes within.

Just remember that when you have a fixed belief about anything and when you are convinced that you are right just remember that there are as many viewpoints as there are possible combinations of experiences. Each of us is shaped by our experiences in life and our choices that we made along the way. To us they seem right and true. But what happens if others have not had those opportunities, good or bad. Their perceptions will be molded on those experiences and in turn they have learned other ways to protect themselves and be safe. Judgment and acceptance are opposite sides of the same mirror.

As you learn to love others, you will learn to accept yourself. They you will create space within you for others to have their experiences and not judge them for their karmic lessons or struggles. When you learn to release and forgive you will learn to see your own soul more clearly.

The Thunderstorms of Change

The weather here is stormy and I do so love a thunderstorm. It clears the air and makes life fresh, crisp, and new. So this aligns with us finally coming out of that nasty Mercury retrograde. It has been a long 3 1/2 weeks. But at least people are hopeful and the heavy energy of the last 8 months feels as if it is shifting. Personally I am finding clients less contracted and more willing to just be in the now. Everyone knows that they need to be more careful with the money and so the adjustment of establishing new spending patterns is working. We seem to have gotten over the upset and shock of the governmental, banking, and global situations.

So as this is a beautiful spring, take a moment to enjoy it. The problems of the world will still be there when you get back. I guarantee it. But it takes a certain amount of presence and conscious clarity to step out of the world for moments and breathe in life.

You know you need to do it. The planet is there for your enjoyment, healing, and re-generation. We are on one of the most spectacular planets in the galaxy. Yet, we can get so caught up in our fear and self-importance that we totally forget to enjoy the simple and wonderful aspects of being here.

Where ever you are, go on a picnic this weekend. Just get out of your routine and do something fun. Let your self play and frolic for a few hours. You will feel much better. And your family will feel better also.