Opening to the Concept of Mandala Tantra

Noticing what you want in love and knowing where you are in your personal mandala of life are very important.

The word mandala means a pattern that represents the cosmos metaphysically or symbolically from the human perspective. These symbols are often used as an aid to create sacred spaces for meditation and trance induction. It is through its symbolic nature that one can access progressively deeper levels of the unconscious, thus allowing the meditator to experience a mystical sense of oneness with the ultimate unity from which all forms arise. Our personal mandalas can help us identify emotional patterns that cause us suffering and can allow us to work towards wholeness within.

The word tantra causes such a stir in Western culture because our only perspective of this word is from the Hindu practices of sexual positioning to enhance pleasure.

But this is not what the word actually means.

The word Tantra comes from two words, tanoti, which means expansion, and trayati, which means liberation. It also means to stretch or to weave. It is the union of energy and consciousness. It means that in life you are required to stretch and open in order to learn to weave the threads of your consciousness into the physical reality. In our lives all of us create ways in which we stretch and grow. That stretching can cause us fear and pain, as it requires us to let go of our previous perspectives and positions and open to a possibility in which love can expand beyond what we have experienced at the moment.

Tantra is the conscious weaving of the patterns of life that challenge us into a place in which we are no longer in reaction to our circumstances and environment. Instead of resisting and needing to be right, we choose to seek out places to stretch our awareness into more and more love and consciousness. Tantra recognizes that by learning that everything is love you can become wiling to surrender up what you believe is a problem and find bliss in every moment no matter how you mind might have previously perceived it.

The first step is to notice in which areas you feel stuck and resistant to move or open. That should not be difficult. Each of us is distinctly aware of where we are constantly creating patterns that we dislike. By being aware of what you are creating and attracting into your life you will begin to notice the patterns in which you are choosing to grow through.

I love the concept of mandalas in Tibetan Buddhism. To a westerners eye this concept of meditating on a deity or mandala seems somewhat flat and foreign. Yet nothing could be further from the truth.

I like to think of my life as a series of personal mandalas. I have established certain patterns in many areas of my life. Each one of them is a mandala. Some of these mandalas I can navigate well and others I find myself triggered by the chaotic energies that cause me to react and not open fully in love.

In my personal way of seeing my life, I begin with the construct of the Tibetan images for mandalas. Usually there is a central figure, which appears serene and balanced. They hold the sacred symbols and tools that this archetype uses to cut through the illusion of their particular human condition. That deity is usually standing on the backs of dead corpses or humans in some form of conflict or suffering. The outer edges of the image, represents the positive or negative qualities of the lessons needing to be navigated through by this archetype.

It appears much like a hurricane to me. The eye of the storm is calm while the further you move towards the outer edge, it becomes more and more chaotic and conflicted. Thus representing the true nature of all life. Life is chaotic life force. Learning to navigate it with clarity and conscious love is a real challenge. The trick is to stay in the center. Notice the chaotic patterns and recognize that you are not this chaos. You are much more than your small human experience of this moment. When you choose to believe in your smallness, you then allow the possibility that you are a victim of your circumstances and are not powerful enough to control the chaos you find yourself in. And from this position you would be right.

First of all, life is so powerful that even the thought that you could control nature is a joke. Since control will not work, you must find a different place in which to stand. Begin by realizing that by being on this planet you are choosing to learn to expand love and consciousness. It is a huge job and there are many much more powerful beings than you and I that have tried. They have all failed in certain ways and that always resulted in some form of death, whether physical, metaphorical, spiritual, emotional, or mental. Others who became afraid of the freedom and love that they carried often killed them.

Yet to die without attempting to give your greatest gift will leave you feeling unfulfilled.

In Tibetan Buddhism you must be willing to admit that in life there is suffering and death. That is inevitable. So what are you going to do with the time that you have on this planet? No one really knows when they will be taken off this planet. Anything could happen to any of us tomorrow. So right now, how can you give fully of your heart to others in ways that serve and open everyone around you?

This is why looking at your personal mandalas and finding ways to weave love, energy, and consciousness together is critical spiritual progression. By becoming aware of the situations that consistently recreate themselves in your life, you learn to navigate yourself into the center of your mandala. From the center it is all perfect and simply another way to expand love and consciousness into your life and into the lives of those you love.

We learn to look at all the people and situations as a weaving of chaotic energies in which we must learn to find our way to the center of the storm.

Then we must learn to love with total consciousness. In this way we learn to look at each person we bring into our lives as a gift and opportunity to open love to ever greater and expanding circles of light. Through this process we learn to look at all pain and confusion from an awakened perspective.

Then life becomes a play of wisdom. Suffering is transformed into joy and awakened consciousness.

When we constantly try to manipulate and control our environment it becomes difficult to experience the bliss and joys of this precious moment.

Each situation in which you find yourself is a vehicle to establish new boundaries and to learn the new mental and physical limits of this pattern. In this way, you learn to develop a relationship with your circumstances. From this perspective you can see that there is natural workability and goodness in every situation. You understand that you must drop habitual patterns in how you relate to your life and experience and learn to engage situations directly from your center rather than from the place of reaction and fear of loss.

Only when you are unwilling to escape from the reality of your life can true opening happen.

Each situation or person you encounter can create its own lessons and patterns as a mandala. But it becomes even more complex than that. Your mandalas are also needing to relate and connect to the other person’s mandala.

This is where the chaos really becomes a problem.

Now you are not just dealing with your energies but the patterns that have been established in others. If you cannot see the mandala that the other person is working from you can bump against the edges of each other’s mandala. This can cause more suffering and trigger each of you into the established patterns of unfulfillment and upset. Then you will feel hit by the full fury of the stormy edges of both. If you try to connect from the chaotic edges of your mandala then fulfillment is difficult but if you connect from the calm center of that personal mandala then each person can feel fulfilled.

Latest Salt Lake City Events and Updates

Salt Lake City Updates

Suzanne will be doing her Integral Tarot Class June 28-29, 2008. The hours for the class are 10 AM to 6 PM each day.

Suzanne will also be teaching an Integral Numerology Class, August 2-3, 2008. . For information on each class please check them out on Suzanne’s Home Page.

Please call Suzanne’s office at (801) 359-2225 to register, get directions to the location, and pay in advance for this class. Registration is limited because of the workshop space so please register early.

New Event at the Golden Braid Bookstore with Suzanne

Suzanne will continue her Psychic Question and Answer Sessions at the Golden Braid Bookstore starting on Wednesdays: June 18, August 20, October 22, November 19, and December 17th.

Each person will be allowed to ask 2 or 3 questions of Suzanne during the event. We are trying to make sure everyone that comes gets to ask his or her questions before the time is over. If there is extra time, of course, Suzanne will continue to answer as many questions as she can get in during the time allowed before the store closes.

Cost for the event is $15.00 per person. Please have your questions ready and plan ahead.


The Psychic Fair will continue to be at the Golden Braid Bookstore at 151 S. 500 E. in Salt Lake City. The bookstore’s phone number is (801) 322-1162.

We are beginning a new and expanded Psychic Fair in conjunction with the Golden Braid Bookstore. As a result of upgrading our location, the cost of a 20-minute reading is now $25.00.

You may sign up for our different psychics one week in advance by calling the Golden Braid Bookstore. Appointments are scheduled in 20-minute segments.

Our popular psychics are:

Krysta Brinkley - Horary Astrology, Palmistry, Numerology, and Tarot. Her phone number is (801) 706-0213.

Ross Gigliotti - Tarot, Past Life Regression, Intuitive Coaching, NLP, Hypnosis. His phone number is (801) 244-0275.

Larissa Jones - Tarot, Essential Oil Readings, Intuitive Counseling. Her phone number is (801) 424-1217.

Melene Lake - Tarot, Kinesiology, Essential Oils. Her phone number is (801) 451-8543.

Wade Lake - Tarot, Numerology. His phone number is (801) 451-8543

Shawn Lerwill - Clairvoyance, Angel Readings, Essential Oils and Balancing. His phone number is (801) 856-4619.

Adam Sagers - Tarot, Numerology, Astrology Art. His phone number is (801) 824-2641.

Nick Stark – Energy Worker, Shamanic Counseling, Water Breaths, Tarot Readings. His phone number is (801) 394-6287.

Suzanne Wagner – Tarot, Numerology, Palmistry, Channeling, Clairvoyance, and Mediumship. Her phone number is (801) 359-2225.

I am thrilled with how much joy and support this is giving the community. Normally in an evening we can accommodate approximately 50 people.

Remember that this is only an introduction to psychic readings. All of us normally will do readings for approximately one hour. During the psychic fair we just do not have the time to go into great depth with each person. So be prepared to ask a few specific questions to your psychic and they will be happy to answer them.

For the $25.00 you will have approximately 20 minutes to be read. If you want a longer reading you may call the phone numbers listed above for each psychic and schedule a private reading with them. Or call the Golden Braid Bookstore to schedule a private reading with one of their psychics that are on staff regularly.

The dates for the Psychic Fair in 2008 are:
June 19, July 17, Aug 21, Sept 18, Oct 16, Nov 20, Dec 18.
Time is from 6:00 PM till 9:00 PM.

Intuitive Patterns for the Month of June

June is a month where you have the opportunity to see the world of possibilities that are opening to you. As you learn to become more loving to yourself, you also become more self-contained. This month you are no longer looking for someone or something outside of you to fulfill you. When you are relaxed and at ease you can see the limitless possibilities all around you. When you are in tune with your true nature you trust that the universe is giving you exactly what you need in order to grow.

When you constantly need to analyze things, over time, you realize that mind will accept any boundary or limitation as the truth. But existence by its own nature cannot have boundaries.

Your mind will try to tell you to be content. If you listen to that voice then you will remain small. This smallness is your mind’s imposition upon your freedom. It then limits your potential and possibilities. When the mind is in control you become lazy and life then becomes dull. You feel as if you are in a rut and life becomes a bitter pill to take.

When you have an experience that you have arrived, remember your mind is imposing a boundary and limit upon your experience. This does not mean that you have not achieved something fabulous. That is to be celebrated. But each of us is constantly growing and evolving. Enjoy that success and then reach beyond that known place towards more fulfillment, love, and joy. When you think that you have arrived know that the mirror of that reality is cracking under your feet and you are about to take a freefall into something new and unknown.

Don’t worry about it or despair. This is just the natural progression that is life. There is always something new to explore or some way to expand love in your life in greater expanding circles of connection and honor.

Do not believe those who offer false flattery and seduction. They unknowingly are keeping you small in order to validate that they do not need to grow further. Others will tell you that it should be enough and you should be satisfied and content with what you have. In this place I am not talking about financial satisfaction. I am talking about spiritual fulfillment and satisfaction. In this area trust your own depth and discipline. There are amazing levels of spiritual awareness, conscious clarity, and awakening that are available to everyone. But this does take discipline and the willingness to push beyond comfort into the areas that are hidden and resistant within you.

That is why you must learn to listen to the intuitive self and the deeper soul awareness that is within. The mind is only one small and very narrow aspect of your being. You are much more than what you believe you are.

Notice if you value doing but do not always value the mystical knowledge that can be found within the intuitive self. That intuitive self is asking for you to listen and open beyond the level of comfort that you have created up to this point.

This month, be reluctant to take huge external risks. Let go of extravagant plans and the constant need to manifest extreme wealth. Allow stillness to invade your life. Go within and find your inner source of power and clarity.

Take some time to dance into the passionate flow that is what makes life worth living. It is the simple things in life that are the memories we end up holding as sacred treasures. As a child you do not remember the expensive gift at a holiday as much as you cherish the memories of rolling in the grass and playing with your family in hysterical giggles and laughter.

Allow those simple pleasures to expand the childlike innocence back into your life. Allow joy to become the priority. Allow love to be the guiding light and principle in your work and family. Make choices that are not about getting what you want, but noticing and giving to others what will open their heart more fully to the love that is within them. After all, spirit is always present and guiding our lives, even if we do not always realize it.

Opening to Love and Giving your Gifts

As June warms the hearts and souls of all of us, take note as to what aspects within you are afraid to open into love. Everyone has experiences that we have had a hard time forgiving ourselves for or have outright rejected. These parts I call my shadow. Yet, in our shadow is where we will find the most growth potential. We must be willing to open to those unlovable parts and learn to accept them and allow them to give us the wisdom and gifts that they naturally carry.

Know that spirit is always moving you. It does not only move you when you are being fabulous. It is always opening you to more love and consciousness if you are willing to stay present with what you choose to have as experiences. Spirit presents you with opportunities to grow. What your mind decides about those experiences has to do with your ego and your genetic programming. Your mind is not your soul. Whether you realize it or not, your soul is in cahoots with Spirit all the time.

You want to believe that what you perceive with your mind is true. You want to believe that what you present to the world is actually who you are. But you are more vast and expansive than you could possibly imagine. To discover that vastness you must push yourself up against your personal edges in ways that are safe enough so you don’t frighten yourself to the point that you completely shut down. But you must find ways that allow you to break down the rigid beliefs that block the true giving of your amazing gifts.

We are all afraid to open to the world. We know that people can crush our delicate hearts and dreams. The world does not willing applaud us when we attempt to give our gifts from our heart. In fact, experience proves to us that it is much more likely that we will be rejected. But to become all that we can be we must be willing to try. We must try to the point that we don’t collapse or trigger others to the point that the feel the need to attack us.

This requires some great communication skills and life is a constant learning process. But rejection is not a sign that you are wrong in the giving of your gift. Though you may need more skill and clarity in order for others to understand and know how to receive that gift.

Spiritual consciousness is about learning to stay present when you are right at your edge. Most people believe that spiritual awareness should be all light and fluff. It is not. The way to become totally present and awake means that you have to be willing to move beyond comfort and safety.

Now, you must also do that in a way that has some sense of safety and clarity. Which is why on this level having a teacher of real awareness to assist and guide you is extremely helpful.

There are some levels of spiritual development that you cannot do alone. This is one of them. But you must also be very aware of the integrity of any teacher that you trust. Look at their life and feel into their heart to know if they have the skills that you are seeking.

Good teachers are few and far between.

On the higher levels, they see you before you find them. This makes it frustrating when your ego thinks that it is ready but you cannot seem to find the right one to help. This means that you are not quite ready yet. If that happens, take some time to slow down and open up to the infinite wisdom that is always available to you if you are willing to let go of what you know and learn to find the cosmic flow. All the information is right there if you are willing to trust and open to the greater wisdom of the universe.

Learn to enjoy the drama you create. Learn to know that you are already complete and whole. You are perfect just as you are. That does not mean that your habits are perfect. You are perfect. That does not mean that what you believe is always right. Inside you is an alignment with the divine that is moving you forward even if you resist. Relax and feel the miracle that you are right now. It has taken an infinite amount of time for your consciousness to develop to this level. Be grateful for your beingness. You are the gift that you carry. Now you have to find the way to give it.

Breakthroughs In My Feminine Awareness

Wow! I just got back from the David Deida workshop in San Francisco, CA last weekend. It was wonderful.

If any of you do not know about his work, he is a master at understanding the masculine and feminine typologies. His work has been very helpful to myself and many others in learning how to understand our relationships, how to improve communication skills, and open back up to the passion and life force that is within all of us.

I had some tremendous breakthroughs in my awareness as to how to remain open and flowing as a feminine being.

One of the things that he talks about is how the feminine in our culture can become so masculinized that it can block the natural flow of energy that the feminine carries. I have definitely noticed that pattern within myself. It is exhausting to constantly try to be in a masculine modality in work situations when I am a deeply intuitive feminine.

So, having sorted out that perspective, I feel much more open and alive in just allowing my natural feminine to just be. She is perfect just as she is and that is enough. Yea!

I wanted to give that awareness to all the feminine beings out there. You can be more in your feminine essence and allow the natural places you inhabit energetically to be the creative impulse for your life.

Now, at work you have to kick ass just like any masculine. But at home in your intimacy, it is a great relief to just open to the fullness of the feminine that is within. I find it relaxes the stress off my body when I let go of the mental perspective that I have to be all things to everyone.

Every woman knows that sometimes you just want a quiet bubble bath with candles and great smelling aromas. To take that time to reinvigorate your internal feminine is a great gift you can give to yourself. You can also take time to put on music and dance as you are cleaning and vacuuming. Why not? Who says housework needs to be done without joy and abandon.

There are many ways to allow the feminine aspects to be present as you methodically move through your day.

So what opens your feminine?

Each woman is different. Take some time to explore what you need to reclaim the wonderful feminine within you.

No man wants to walk into his home and find his feminine mate all stressed out, uptight, and contracted. Every man wants to feel that his mate is happy, open, flowing, and radiant. That then makes him feel as if he is succeeding and doing a good job for his family and life. And men love to feel successful.

Think of it like this. If you walk in from your work day and you have been in your masculine side and your mate comes in and he is in his masculine side, then where is the feminine? Sexual polarity allows for the flow of sexual energy between two opposing forces. Think of it like the opposite poles of magnets. When you put the north and south poles of a magnet together the attraction is instantaneous. But if you put two of the same magnetic poles together they repel each other.

It is easier if you are the feminine partner in a relationship to realize that you have been in your masculine all day and find ways to re-energize your feminine. Sometimes that means to take a bath and calm down. Sometimes you need to dance or become creative in some way. But if you take the time to do it then the sexual polarity reengages and the passion comes back in.

But this is sometimes difficult in our busy, masculine world. It takes creativity, commitment, and consciousness to find your ways to open back up.

You have to think of it as an art form. Someone can teach you about painting. They can teach you how to mix colors and create shading and light within a painting. But as you practice your unique individual creative feminine self takes over and your life then becomes a work of art that changes and adapts to the situations and moods in which you find yourself.

Now that is a way to live a life.

To live fully and artfully moment by moment takes great skill and awareness. But why not try.

It would definitely be more interesting than just getting rooted in habits and patterns. Then feeling resentful of others because you are unhappy. It is always us that must learn how to take our life's challenges and problems and make them into our personal dance and art.

Some of the greatest people have suffered tremendously. But they did not let those situations make them miserable. They decided to use what they had learned to open and give back to others in ways that were inspired by love and consciousness.

But to do that you need to begin by interrupting the habits of your personal nervous system and family genetic patterns. This takes a lot of effort and a great trust in your soul's power to grow and adapt regardless of how your mind wants to label and interpret what is happening.

Remember, you are not your patterns. You are not your DNA. You are a soul who has chosen to learn and grow through some interesting situations and problems. When you can have a sense of humor about your choices and look much deeper as to how to serve others with what you have learned, then something magical can happen. You can free yourself from you blockages and habits and allow the power of your love and consciousness to expand and command the future experiences of your life.

I love to look at the power of love. When you focus on who and what you love then personal pain and suffering can disappear.

Look at Mother Teresa. Here is a woman who for over 30 years had a heart condition, arthritis, osteoporosis, and was in constant personal pain. She had trouble walking. She needed others to help her around and yet she continued to give the love and consciousness that she carried to everyone. Regardless of her own personal suffering. By focusing on the love she was able to do amazing things for many.

In our society, we live in a domain of preoccupation. When you are preoccupied with yourself, what you want, and need to feel good, you are really in a personal hell.

You will never get everything that you want. But you can give all of your gifts to others and in doing so you become free and less attached to your own desires. This allows your soul to evolve beyond this plane of existence.

Level 1

When we are young we give love in order to get something from others. An example is: "I will give you sex if you just love me and never leave." We have all been on this level but it never lasts and we feel unfulfilled and dissatisfied with life eventually.

Level 2

As we evolve, we decide that others cannot give us what we want so we decide to learn to give it to ourselves. An example is: "I cannot expect anyone to totally know what I want. I am responsible to me and you are responsible for you. I cannot make you happy and I do not expect you to make me happy. But I can create boundaries and learn how to give to myself what will make me happy. Then maybe I will be fulfilled."

But this level creates a whole population of narcissistic people who want what they want, when they want it. The don't want to make commitments. They want freedom and to flow in what ever way makes them feel good. The problem is that this level gives each person permission to get caught in their habits and patterns for fulfillment but that also does not lead to total fulfillment and happiness.

Level 3

So, the next option is to learn that what is your wound internally is actually your gift to the external world. On this level you are willing to look at not what fulfills you, but what will fulfill others. You learn that you are here to serve love and consciousness, moment by moment. To live from this place is a huge dance of faith and trust. But first you must have enough internal energy to have something of value to give.

So each of these phases are developmental levels that need to be passed through in order to get to the next level.

I personally found myself on Level 2 for about 12 years. I thought I understood the third level and I had moments when I was there but I could not maintain that level for long and I would always collapse back into the second level. From this place, as a female, I did not want a man to tell me what to do. I wanted to command myself and have the power and control.

But this is also unfulfilling. As a woman you start to wonder, "Where are all the strong, good, powerful, men?"

Well ladies, I am telling you they are out there but they are few and far between. Any man on the higher level will look at you wanting to control your life and they will just let you go on your merry way. They do not want to deal with all your resistance. It does not look fun to the masculine on this level. To a masculine partner it looks like a lot of work. This does not mean that you open to a masculine that is not worthy either. You can test a good man's stability to stay centered and grounded.

This does mean that you need to learn to find moments when you open and allow the yearning of your heart to connect with a masculine person. It is the process of opening that is attractive the masculine. You do not have to be perfectly open. You need to be in the process of opening.

Every feminine essence can be in the process of becoming more aware of what will allow them to open. And at the same time cultivate the lusciousness of your feminine to show its beauty and radiance to the world as a gift of love.

Now, is the time. Why not begin? What do you have to loose? Besides you will feel more alive and just the process of allowing more love light to move through you will be a new level of fulfillment and recognition that you are enough just as you are. You are beautiful and vibrant right now. You can relax and enjoy your life's challenges with humor and grace.

Enjoy the process. I know I am.