Breakthroughs In My Feminine Awareness

Wow! I just got back from the David Deida workshop in San Francisco, CA last weekend. It was wonderful.

If any of you do not know about his work, he is a master at understanding the masculine and feminine typologies. His work has been very helpful to myself and many others in learning how to understand our relationships, how to improve communication skills, and open back up to the passion and life force that is within all of us.

I had some tremendous breakthroughs in my awareness as to how to remain open and flowing as a feminine being.

One of the things that he talks about is how the feminine in our culture can become so masculinized that it can block the natural flow of energy that the feminine carries. I have definitely noticed that pattern within myself. It is exhausting to constantly try to be in a masculine modality in work situations when I am a deeply intuitive feminine.

So, having sorted out that perspective, I feel much more open and alive in just allowing my natural feminine to just be. She is perfect just as she is and that is enough. Yea!

I wanted to give that awareness to all the feminine beings out there. You can be more in your feminine essence and allow the natural places you inhabit energetically to be the creative impulse for your life.

Now, at work you have to kick ass just like any masculine. But at home in your intimacy, it is a great relief to just open to the fullness of the feminine that is within. I find it relaxes the stress off my body when I let go of the mental perspective that I have to be all things to everyone.

Every woman knows that sometimes you just want a quiet bubble bath with candles and great smelling aromas. To take that time to reinvigorate your internal feminine is a great gift you can give to yourself. You can also take time to put on music and dance as you are cleaning and vacuuming. Why not? Who says housework needs to be done without joy and abandon.

There are many ways to allow the feminine aspects to be present as you methodically move through your day.

So what opens your feminine?

Each woman is different. Take some time to explore what you need to reclaim the wonderful feminine within you.

No man wants to walk into his home and find his feminine mate all stressed out, uptight, and contracted. Every man wants to feel that his mate is happy, open, flowing, and radiant. That then makes him feel as if he is succeeding and doing a good job for his family and life. And men love to feel successful.

Think of it like this. If you walk in from your work day and you have been in your masculine side and your mate comes in and he is in his masculine side, then where is the feminine? Sexual polarity allows for the flow of sexual energy between two opposing forces. Think of it like the opposite poles of magnets. When you put the north and south poles of a magnet together the attraction is instantaneous. But if you put two of the same magnetic poles together they repel each other.

It is easier if you are the feminine partner in a relationship to realize that you have been in your masculine all day and find ways to re-energize your feminine. Sometimes that means to take a bath and calm down. Sometimes you need to dance or become creative in some way. But if you take the time to do it then the sexual polarity reengages and the passion comes back in.

But this is sometimes difficult in our busy, masculine world. It takes creativity, commitment, and consciousness to find your ways to open back up.

You have to think of it as an art form. Someone can teach you about painting. They can teach you how to mix colors and create shading and light within a painting. But as you practice your unique individual creative feminine self takes over and your life then becomes a work of art that changes and adapts to the situations and moods in which you find yourself.

Now that is a way to live a life.

To live fully and artfully moment by moment takes great skill and awareness. But why not try.

It would definitely be more interesting than just getting rooted in habits and patterns. Then feeling resentful of others because you are unhappy. It is always us that must learn how to take our life's challenges and problems and make them into our personal dance and art.

Some of the greatest people have suffered tremendously. But they did not let those situations make them miserable. They decided to use what they had learned to open and give back to others in ways that were inspired by love and consciousness.

But to do that you need to begin by interrupting the habits of your personal nervous system and family genetic patterns. This takes a lot of effort and a great trust in your soul's power to grow and adapt regardless of how your mind wants to label and interpret what is happening.

Remember, you are not your patterns. You are not your DNA. You are a soul who has chosen to learn and grow through some interesting situations and problems. When you can have a sense of humor about your choices and look much deeper as to how to serve others with what you have learned, then something magical can happen. You can free yourself from you blockages and habits and allow the power of your love and consciousness to expand and command the future experiences of your life.

I love to look at the power of love. When you focus on who and what you love then personal pain and suffering can disappear.

Look at Mother Teresa. Here is a woman who for over 30 years had a heart condition, arthritis, osteoporosis, and was in constant personal pain. She had trouble walking. She needed others to help her around and yet she continued to give the love and consciousness that she carried to everyone. Regardless of her own personal suffering. By focusing on the love she was able to do amazing things for many.

In our society, we live in a domain of preoccupation. When you are preoccupied with yourself, what you want, and need to feel good, you are really in a personal hell.

You will never get everything that you want. But you can give all of your gifts to others and in doing so you become free and less attached to your own desires. This allows your soul to evolve beyond this plane of existence.

Level 1

When we are young we give love in order to get something from others. An example is: "I will give you sex if you just love me and never leave." We have all been on this level but it never lasts and we feel unfulfilled and dissatisfied with life eventually.

Level 2

As we evolve, we decide that others cannot give us what we want so we decide to learn to give it to ourselves. An example is: "I cannot expect anyone to totally know what I want. I am responsible to me and you are responsible for you. I cannot make you happy and I do not expect you to make me happy. But I can create boundaries and learn how to give to myself what will make me happy. Then maybe I will be fulfilled."

But this level creates a whole population of narcissistic people who want what they want, when they want it. The don't want to make commitments. They want freedom and to flow in what ever way makes them feel good. The problem is that this level gives each person permission to get caught in their habits and patterns for fulfillment but that also does not lead to total fulfillment and happiness.

Level 3

So, the next option is to learn that what is your wound internally is actually your gift to the external world. On this level you are willing to look at not what fulfills you, but what will fulfill others. You learn that you are here to serve love and consciousness, moment by moment. To live from this place is a huge dance of faith and trust. But first you must have enough internal energy to have something of value to give.

So each of these phases are developmental levels that need to be passed through in order to get to the next level.

I personally found myself on Level 2 for about 12 years. I thought I understood the third level and I had moments when I was there but I could not maintain that level for long and I would always collapse back into the second level. From this place, as a female, I did not want a man to tell me what to do. I wanted to command myself and have the power and control.

But this is also unfulfilling. As a woman you start to wonder, "Where are all the strong, good, powerful, men?"

Well ladies, I am telling you they are out there but they are few and far between. Any man on the higher level will look at you wanting to control your life and they will just let you go on your merry way. They do not want to deal with all your resistance. It does not look fun to the masculine on this level. To a masculine partner it looks like a lot of work. This does not mean that you open to a masculine that is not worthy either. You can test a good man's stability to stay centered and grounded.

This does mean that you need to learn to find moments when you open and allow the yearning of your heart to connect with a masculine person. It is the process of opening that is attractive the masculine. You do not have to be perfectly open. You need to be in the process of opening.

Every feminine essence can be in the process of becoming more aware of what will allow them to open. And at the same time cultivate the lusciousness of your feminine to show its beauty and radiance to the world as a gift of love.

Now, is the time. Why not begin? What do you have to loose? Besides you will feel more alive and just the process of allowing more love light to move through you will be a new level of fulfillment and recognition that you are enough just as you are. You are beautiful and vibrant right now. You can relax and enjoy your life's challenges with humor and grace.

Enjoy the process. I know I am.