Numerology/Astrology for 7/1/15 - Plus Personal Blog

Numerology/Astrology for 7/1/15
Today is the number 7. Once again, we are in the cosmic numerological repeat. We have to go back in order to go forward. What did you not complete? What did you strategize that is not going to work the way you thought? You might want to use that brilliant brain of yours and do something different than the previous plan you were attempting. It is time to re-work that idea as now you have more information. There is also the energy of the full moon shining its light and clarity into a situation. Now you can see things for what they are. And as much as that is a shock it also creates a resolution to a new future, one that is going to be very different than the old reality. Again today, the Moon is in Sagittarius all day, encouraging a more spontaneous and spirited approach to the world. Venus is approaching a conjunction with Jupiter, exact early tomorrow. This is a generous and charitable aspect that can have the effect of opening your heart to a new level of self-love. Notice that I said self-love. Today, your feeling matter more than others and that is a good thing. I know it is going to feel like you are being selfish but you are not. This moment is essential for you to break out of an old pattern that has repeatedly wounded you. You can tell this because both Jupiter and Venus form a quincunx with Chiron. There can be a questioning where you need to go next. It is going to be difficult but when you realize that your happiness matters more than being the one that constantly fixes everything, you will have the breakthrough you are looking for. You may feel a little lost so listen to yourself at all costs. There are many obstacles to face but you can do it.. Circumstances are such that you need to make major adjustments to your plans and goals. You may need to tame expectations of others if they are unreasonably high. This moment is about the shifting of priorities so realize that things are in flux. Insecurity involving others might make it awkward for you to express your affections naturally or flowingly. This moment is more about protecting yourself and your new beginning that is unfolding. You can use this Venus and Jupiter to propel you forward in your life. New love can open up and it is excellent for money and others will recognize your value and effort. We are in a 7-day so you want to jump in and use this energy to get things started and grounded into the new reality.
~Suzanne Wagner~

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"I'm not funny. What I am is brave."

~Lucille Ball~

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Today you have to be brave. Braver than you wanted to be and brave in a way that looks like you are leaping off the cliff of the old reality so totally and completely that you are shocked by your own actions. But it is not all bad news. Everything in your life has prepared you for this moment and when you attack it with bravery then you do not doubt the reality that is unfolding. You trust that the guides and angels have prepared you for this moment perfectly and you are ready to make this shift. Take a look back and see that everything in your life is really perfect. Windows in life open and windows in life close. Learning to do them with grace and an open heart is what takes great conscious skill and finesse.

Numerology/Astrology for 6/30/15 - Plus Personal Blog

Numerology/Astrology for 6/30/15
Today is the number 8. From the numerology aspect today might be a highly emotional day. So expect there to be moments where the feeling of being in control is thrown out the window. When you add in the astrology to the mix I think it might end up being a day where shopping therapy takes over to deal with the intensity of the moods. So watch your wallet and try to have a bit of self-control. Again today, the Moon is in Sagittarius all day, encouraging a more spontaneous and spirited approach to the world. Venus is approaching a conjunction with Sagittarian ruler, Jupiter and will be exact early tomorrow. This is a generous and charitable aspect that can have the effect of opening your heart (and possibly wallet). However, first, both Jupiter and Venus form a quincunx with Chiron. There can be a questioning of your goals, as doubt and uncertainty are possible. You may feel a little lost and susceptible to influence. If you are not self-aware, you might push impractical ideas and projects ahead, only to face obstacles. Circumstances are such that you need to make adjustments to your plans and goals. You may need to tame your expectations if they are unreasonably high. Insecurity involving others might make it awkward for you to express your affections naturally or flowingly.
~Suzanne Wagner~

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Do not judge by appearances. A rich heart may be under a poor coat.

~Scottish Proverb~

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Money does not make every thing perfect. Learning to work and experiencing the feelings of accomplishment in your life from hard work are wonderful to keep your ego in check and to be a part of the real world from a place of compassion and love. Those that have never struggled in life will make up struggles because it is sort of ingrained in our body/mind to want to overcome something. But why make up a story and struggle if you could actually do something that makes a difference in the world for one person or a situation? The world does not need more drama but it does need people to create reasonable solutions to the multitude of problems that are out there and all around us. Take a look at where you are drawn and see if there is some way that you could help or support. Then boldly step in that direction. Let your life be fulfilling. Do not let this precious opportunity go to waste.
~Suzanne Wagner~

Numerology/Astrology for 6/29/15 - Plus Personal Blog

Numerology/Astrology for 6/29/15
Today is the number 7. Even though this day has astrology that wants you to break free and break out of your old patterns, numerologically you have to do it with a bit of organized structure to be effective in this world. Starting with a plan is always a good idea but also know that whatever plan you construct you have to also be willing to create a bit of wiggle room and know that things never really go as planned anyway. Life is a constant dance of controlled chaos. Learning how to be okay with that and allow for the universe to modify you idea as it goes along requires presence and humor. The Moon is in Sagittarius all day. Emotionally bored with the mundane, anything that breaks the routine is appealing now, and a change of scenery might help. You take a philosophical attitude to problems or challenges in your life. Early into the day, a Venus-Uranus trine comes exact. You lose your fear of taking risks at this time, and you happily embrace all that is new, unusual, and out-of-the-ordinary with regards to pleasure, entertainment, tastes, romantic involvements, and financial or business undertakings. You are ready to experiment, but not necessarily ready to commit. The Moon's square to Neptune late afternoon (Eastern time) may be a little disorienting as you look for ways to satisfy your more spiritual or imaginative needs.
~Suzanne Wagner~

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The love that you withhold is the pain that you carry lifetime after lifetime.
~Alex Collier~

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In each of us we do not know what we are holding internally until there are moments of stress and then we notice what we have been holding internally. That is why it is my spiritual practice to constantly lean into my edges to discover where I am still carrying pain or any stuck energy. Most people work really hard to avoid the truth of the pain they carry inside. You notice them all the time. You know, those people who talk too loud and laugh too much, or have that overly sweet voice that makes you cringe. I notice often how my voice conveys so much of what I do not want to express. Today, notice what you say and how you say it. Then notice others reaction to your words and ways of expressing them. Observation is the key to being able to change a behavior in a way that allows for others to connect with your real self rather than your pain body. Your pain body is yours to navigate through. You want to connect with others in the most meaningful way possible.
~Suzanne Wagner~

Numerology/Astrology for 6/28/15 - Plus Personal Blog

Numerology/Astrology for 6/28/15
Today is the number 6. As a day of quiet reflection it is a wonderful time to go on a picnic and sit by a stream and watch the nature unfold. It is the height of summer and everything in life is full and glorious in is dance with what is. I love to connect and watch life from the quiet and reflective place of the number 6. Nature has so much so teach if you are willing to watch and wait. Patience will be rewarded today so go talk to the birds, commune with the ants, and become one with the river of life. The Moon is in Scorpio most of the day, until 11:23 PM EDT, when it enters Sagittarius. Early today, a Mercury-Pluto quincunx can point to frustrating misunderstandings. Re-assessing or second-guessing decisions you have already made is possible now. The Moon aligns with Saturn later today, reminding you of your responsibilities, but with a Venus-Uranus trine approaching (exact early into the day tomorrow), you are likely to feel especially open to new ways of relating to others, as well as to new or unusual things and experiences. You may have an offbeat, pleasant attitude and people around you are more willing to socialize. There is just enough detachment felt right now that you may feel freer and possibly a little daring.
~Suzanne Wagner~

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She’s a mess of gorgeous chaos, and you can see it in her eyes!

~Unknown~

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When was the last time you let the wildness out of your eyes. If you look at great actors and actresses, they have that ability to project their inner wildness and emotional state out of their eyes and touch the world. Wildness is highly observant. I often feel that wildness inside sit back and observe a situation from the place of intense observation and with a quality of humor. I often feel like a large cat on a cliff hiding in a place where others cannot see me but I can see them in their egos and drama running around creating challenges in order to feel alive. When you are in touch with your wildness there is no need to create any drama personally you recognize that you are living and breathing the most amazingly wild experience in each and every moment. In general the most intelligent people tend to be the most wild. Wisdom observes before making a move. And that move will be carefully calculated and the action will be done with no hesitation or doubt. Wild is not careful but it is calculating. Wild is not cautious it moves at 100% through life. When you let the wild out doubt goes away because you are all in with your dance of life.
~Suzanne Wagner~

Numerology/Astrology for 6/27/15 - Plus Personal Blog

Numerology/Astrology for 6/27/15
Today is the number 5. It is all about where you stand in life. It is all about what you choose your life to stand for. It is about the philosophies you choose to be the guiding light in your life. Some people choose fame at the cost of conscious awareness. Some people choose power of kindness. Today take a look at the results of your choices and determine if you like the outcome of this particular configuration. I personally do not want power without consciousness. I would rather not have great wealth if it is at the expense of others. But each of you has to choose what is best for you. As a number 5 day, you have to put your feet firmly on the ground and make the choices that guide your life in the direction that serves your soul. Each person is different and all choices are perfect in the evolution that your soul wants to express. The Scorpio Moon's energy can be provocative as well as passionate, strong-willed, and intense. You can be perceptive but moody today. The Sun squares Jupiter, and you may feel vague restlessness and discontent with life as it is. You want more, but perhaps too much. Overestimation, wastefulness, and exaggeration are possible with this influence. Moods can be elevated but subject to sudden change if not based on reality or if expectations are set unreasonably high.
~Suzanne Wagner~

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“A Soulmate is someone who knows the Song in your Heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.”

~Donna Roberts~

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When you look deeply into the eyes of anyone for an extended period of time you will discover a soulmate. That is what is so magical. We are all one in the great ball of life that is on this planet. When I look into the eyes of an animal for an extended period of time they also become a soulmate. In all life is a soul having an experience. Just because that soul has less time on this planet and has not yet had the chance to evolve into the complex patterns of your human awareness does not mean that you are better and they are somehow less. Their presence is still fully there and it is a great honor for them to, for a moment, share that peace and presence with you. Respect and honor all life and discover how you are never, ever, alone.
~Suzanne Wagner~

Numerology/Astrology for 6/26/15 - Plus Personal Blog

Numerology/Astrology for 6/26/15
Today is the number 22/4. Balance and understanding is the key to navigating this day. Listening is essential to find that balance and to understand others. If you cannot be still inside and silence the chatter of the mind you then are never really hearing anyone other than yourself and your own mind. Just think how boring and repetitive your life would be if all you did was hear your own voice. Today, step out of your own mind by finding your center and in that center is silence. Only when you are still and open can you actually hear what someone else is saying. Only when you recognize that outside yourself is new information that is not from your past experiences can you learn something new. Let this day be filled with wonder and new things. You find peace when you know the answers you seek are all around you. Not just inside the mind but outside in the world that is constantly trying to speak with you. The Moon continues its transit of Libra until 1:58 PM EDT, when it enters Scorpio. While the Moon is in Libra, moderating, negotiating, and compromise are themes. Conflicts tend to be avoided or averted now, or resolved in a diplomatic and fair way. You are especially aware of the points of view of others and the opposite side of the coin, which can lead to indecision. The Scorpio Moon is perceptive and impassioned. A trine between the Scorpio Moon and Mars in Cancer this afternoon can help bring satisfaction to the feelings as you more readily pursue your desires and interests.
~Suzanne Wagner~

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I don’t know how to be silent when my heart is speaking.

~Spirit Science~

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What does you heart need today? Where is your fear interfering with enjoying the bliss of this moment? You are okay right now. You are exactly where you need to be to open to the next level of truth. Let go and let there be peace inside. From that place of peace you are more open to the amazing gifts that are right there being offered. The world is always holding out its hands to you. When you finally feel as worthy as that bee feels to find the flower then you are home.
~Suzanne Wagner~

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Barely Recognizable - Ted-X – Lisa Nichols – Thank you for the share Reese Morrell

Numerology/Astrology for 6/25/15 - Plus Personal Blog

Numerology/Astrology for 6/25/15
Today is the number 21/3. Are you feeling lucky or not so lucky? With the astrology it is probably not so lucky at the moment. But you can turn disadvantage into advantage if you are willing to not care what others think and allow the silly side of your personality to come out. You can either laugh or cry and today it might be advisable to consciously choose to laugh at the insanity that life brings your way. Even if all you can say is, “Thank you Divine that this day is ending.” I know that I am a Leo and the sun always rises on another day for me but this might be the day that you adopt the Leo attitude and remember that nothing fixes a bad mood like a great dinner, some sleep, and you wake up and try again. The Moon transits Libra all day, and creating order is the focus through pleasing interactions with others and aesthetics in your environment. Decisions do not come easily. Seeing both sides to any given situation is the main reason for hesitation. Fear of losing others' approval is another. Balancing your personal desires with those of another is likely to figure strongly now. The Moon's sextiles to both Venus and Jupiter today encourage cooperation and good humor, but its square to Pluto and opposition to Uranus can stimulate tension as buried frustrations emerge. Jupiter forms a biquintile with Pluto today, encouraging you to find creative ways to reach your goals.
~Suzanne Wagner~

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Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.

~Lucille Ball~

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When you look at people such as Lucille Ball who gave the world so much what amazes me more is the hardships that they survived to give their incredible gift. I have a joke and that joke is that: “You always have to pay a toll to the troll.” What that means is that in life on this planet there is always duality. There is always some sort of sacrifice that you have to offer up to become great or magnificent. The attraction you have to a particular thing gives you the juice to stretch way out of your comfort zone and that longing for that outcome is so strong that you are willing to put exorbitant amounts of time and energy into getting that outcome. They say to master something you have to do it 10,000 times. Just think of the things that you have repeatedly tried over and over again to accomplish. What is wonderful is that what you are attracted to allows you to play the games of pretend and as you pretend then you learn to do those repetitive things and you become better and better at them. What has always helped me, is believing in myself and in my capacity to figure something out eventually. Knowing that you don’t know how to do something is essential for keeping an open mind to learn and analyze situations properly. But always believe in your capacity to continue to grow. May you day be filled with wonder and delight and may your eyes always see things with a childlike wonder and innocence.
~Suzanne Wagner~

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The Best Motivational Video

Numerology/Astrology for 6/24/15 - Blog about Antonina Tumkovsky

Numerology/Astrology for 6/24/15
Today is the number 11/20. You feel like you want to step forward but instead you are stepping sideways. That is because of the Cha-Cha dancing moves of the number 20/11. It may feel a bit forward one big step and two steps backwards with smaller steps but you can make the expansion and contraction of this number pattern into a dance and make if fun if you can find the rhythm and flow. The Moon leaves Virgo at 1:42 AM EDT, when it enters Libra. With Chiron stationary and turning retrograde this morning, you might be flooded with energies that are hard to make sense of and thus important decision-making is best avoided for the time being, as your thinking can be skewed. It's better not to jump to conclusions. However, while the station itself can bring some feeling of overwhelm, the retrograde cycle itself, which lasts until November 27th, is a good time for introspection. You might reassess mental and physical health programs in your life during this period. Mars enters Cancer today, where it will transit until August 8th. You pursue interests ardently, but you might avoid a direct approach. You are less likely to move straightforwardly towards your desires with Mars in Cancer. And you are subject to mood swings and vacillations. Watch to see if you are moving from a defensive position and try a more gentle approach. Your mood is greatly influenced by your circumstances so be aware that your impulse is just this moment. You are a little more cautious and conservative under this influence, but you will fight for, about, or on behalf of those people and things that are dearest to your heart.
~Suzanne Wagner~

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The women whom I love and admire for their strength and grace did not get that way because shit worked out. They got that way because shit went wrong, and they handled it. They handled it in a thousand different ways on a thousand different days, but they handled it. These women are my superheroes.

~Elizabeth Gilbert~

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One of my favorite dance teachers was Antonina Tumkovsky from the School of American Ballet. She was a force to be reckoned with but the sweetest women in the world. She had been born in 1905 and became a soloist for the Kiev Ballet. In World War II she had been captured by the Germans and when they discovered who she was they broke both of her knees. After that she could never dance professionally again but she left Russia and got to Berlin where then she immigrated to the US in 1949. I remember her sitting on a chair and teaching class with a big stick to mark the positions of her legs because it was clearly very painful for her to walk. I never saw her complain. She always had a smile on her face and the kindest heart. Her classes were so demanding that I wondered how I could make it through them. But her spirit, her love of dance, and her innocent belief that you could do the impossible gave me the energy to keep going. I remember not being accepted into New York City Ballet because that year I was to step into the apprenticeship/corps position was the year that Mikhial Baryshnikov joined New York City Ballet. He wanted to work with Balanchine before he died. At my evaluation, Mr. B said to me, “Suzy, you are ready to be in a company, you should go to Europe but I have to hire all short girls because I have no one to stand next to Mikhial on stage.” I was devastated. Very few companies took dancers as tall as me. I remember going into Tumkovsky’s class in tears and completely distraught. She left me alone for about 10 minutes then walked by and said, “Suzy, New York City Ballet is not the only company in the world.” That just made me cry more. She walked around the classroom, came back and said, “I want to speak to you after class.” So after the class, she sat me down and talked with me. Honestly, I don’t remember much of what she said, only her demeanor and her kind understanding eyes looking back at me. The next day, I was pulled out of a classroom and told that I had an audition with the Berlin Ballet that was on tour to New York and performing at the State Theater. I later heard that it was Tumkovsky that called the Panov’s who where friends of hers from Russia and performing with the Berlin Ballet and arranged for me to have a private audition. It was because of her loving heart and her caring spirit that I was given the great gift to dance in Europe for many years. Her bravery through the incredibly tough times in her life gave me the courage to find my dream. Thank you Tumi.
~Suzanne Wagner~

Numerology/Astrology for 6/23/15 - Plus Personal Blog

Numerology/Astrology for 6/23/15
Today is the number 10/1. And let’s begin again. Yes, we are in the new beginning position and the doorway to personal power. You are required to stand up and take your place in the sun. We are officially in Summer and the warmth of the sky compels a new attitude of gratitude to open and flow. You create your own potential by your willingness to give things a try. Enthusiasm is naturally flowing and you will feel a deep desire to make a shift. For some of you that might be easier than others. Just remember that what you think you are going  for is rarely where you end up. If you know that then you will not get upset or stressed as the universe continues to teach you some very valuable lessons. Those lessons are not about putting you in your place but more about putting things in their place. While the practical Virgo Moon today suggests a need for clear answers, Virgo's ruler, Mercury, forms a hard aspect to Neptune. The kind of confusion and evasiveness this energy breeds is not a comfortable energy for a Virgo Moon, which likes to see everything in its place. You may not be thinking clearly under this influence, and technical facts can be glossed over today. Needless to say, it's not a good time to make a presentation, to ask for what you want or to formalize agreements. An additional influence today is an awkward angle between Mars and Saturn, a quincunx, adding some hesitancy, guilt, or unrest to the mix. There can be awkward, stop-and-go energy. Attempts to force an issue tend to be thwarted. Indecision can hold you back from taking direct action, and this can be a good thing, as adjustments may need to be made.
~Suzanne Wagner~

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“If you knew your potential to feel good, you would ask no one to be different so that you can feel good. You would free yourself of all of that cumbersome impossibility of needing to control the world, control your mate, or control your child. You are the only one who creates your reality. For no one else can think for you, no one else can do it. It is only you, every bit of it you.”

~Esther Hicks~

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How often do you see someone in public do something that causes suffering for another and cause your own body to contract in shock and pain? What do you do about that? Today is the day to stand up for the innocent and to say something that is appropriate to interrupt the process that you are witnessing. I find the easiest way is to not engage in an argument but to notice the stress or suffering of another. If someone is lashing out they are hurt somehow inside. My first phrase is something like, “Wow! You seem really upset. Are you okay? Take a breath, slow down, and tell me how I can support you.” When you come from the place of acknowledging their hurt then they often shift. Remember anger is almost always deeply buried insecurity and hurt. Anger hides the hurt and feels more powerful to an insecure person than expressing depression or sadness. I often say (if they continue to rant), “Oh, my goodness! I am so sorry you are feeling so hurt. You must be just totally overwhelmed today.” It is shocking how fast that line of communication interrupts the pattern. Almost always we react to anger in defensiveness and that perpetuates the game and allows for the illusion to continue and then conscious awareness cannot come into the mix. To heal something you have to interrupt the knee jerk reaction and help them see their own suffering. Only by acknowledging the truth can healing happen.
~Suzanne Wagner~

Numerology/Astrology for 6/22/15 - Plus Personal Blog

Numerology/Astrology for 6/22/15
Today is the number 9. It is a completion and an intuition day, which makes sense because you are also in the final Jupiter-Uranus trine while Jupiter is in Leo and it opens you to new energies, approaches, and attitudes. You will feel in alignment with a greater flow and after all the struggle and effort over the past few months this is going to feel much better. You will feel again like yourself and that is going to be refreshing and joyful. Fortunate events occur as a direct result of your willingness to entertain the unusual and to think outside of the box. This transit favors group activities, financial endeavors associated with groups or organizational efforts, educational pursuits, writing, publishing, speaking, and humanitarian efforts. You will feel more positive and optimistic, and you might experience breakthroughs with methods and thinking processes. This is a time for leaping ahead in some significant way. The Moon is in supportive, detail-oriented Virgo all day, and its trine to Pluto this evening also holds promise of embracing change and improvement in a different way. Be prepared to put something behind you or to make something new of something old under this influence.
~Suzanne Wagner~

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From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A Light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.”

~J.R.R. Tolkien~

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After the lovely expression of affection for our fathers here and on the other side, today is a day to get back into the swing of things. There is so much awakening in the fire of the planetary shifts and changes. Let yourself rise up again and take a place in the light of your personal life. There is always a rebirth after so much emotional expression. Love that journey and love yourself in that process.
~Suzanne Wagner~

The Haggerty Awards Press Release

Robert J. Wagner - Haggerty Award Winner

My Dad -  Robert J. Wagner – Electrical Engineer – Haggerty Award Winner

Let me tell you about my dad.

He was a man of many secrets. And those secrets kept the United States ahead of Russia during the cold war.

My father was a gentle man that was going to be drafted into the Korean War so his choices at college were to become a doctor or an engineer if he was going to avoid the draft. He chose to be an electrical engineer. But he spent the rest of his life protecting and serving his country.

My father’s generation has survived the Great Depression and it was after the two great world wars. He wanted to create something that saved American lives and he came up with a great idea …. a laser guided missile. The great military advantage that this country has right now is because of my father and his team of brilliant engineers and scientists that were committed to a very different strategy than had ever been devised.

When my father had the idea he approached a General in the US Military about it and proposed it to him. At that time the Generals could write a check for $999,999.00 without having to go through channels and the general was willing to take that risk and wrote my father that check. Then it was up to my father to figure out how to deliver that by the deadline.

Now, you have to remember that it was the early 1960’s and computers were not so great at that time. But my father jumped and created the prototype that eventually became what you see today.

The cold war was in full swing and so I spent my childhood with a man who could not tell me what he did for a job. I assumed he made those fancy calculators that were just coming out. My first clue came when I was in grade school and I got sick at school. The family protocol was for me to call my mother at work but she was not there so I called my father. I had to go through 3 secretaries to get to him and they asked a barrage of questions to me, which is thought was odd. By the time I got to my father, his first question was, “What is wrong?” with an alarmed voice.

Throughout my childhood there were little clues that were not normal for any family I knew. He would be gone for 4 months at a time, he could not phone home, my mother worried about him, and he seemed to be always traveling and very stressed by the time he got home. 

When I left home to go to the Berlin Ballet he was very unhappy about it. Finally he calmed down and handed me a gold American Express card with my name on it and said, “If at any point I call you and tell you to get out of Berlin, you take this card and get whatever ticket you can get and take the next plane out of Berlin. Do you understand me?” I said yes, but thought he was being vey stern and hard nosed about it all. To me this was a grand adventure to him it was terribly risky and outright dangerous.

It was only after he retired and was declassified that some of the stories began to leak out.

He worked with NATO and pointed all the laser guided missiles at Russia during the Cold War and he had one pointed at Berlin. That was why he was so serious and concerned.

I remember going over to the East Block of Berlin when the wall was still up and being stopped at the Friedrickstrasse subway checkpoint under Check Point Charlie. I was going to see the Pergamon Museum which had the Walls of Babylon recreated inside this huge and famous museum. My German friends went through fine but me they stopped and they took my passport and put me in a room with a double-sided mirror. 

They watched me for 4 hours and just when I thought I was never getting out they decided to let me go. On the other side my friends were in a panic because the East German Police were very dangerous during that time and people disappeared and were never seen again. The rest of the day myself and my group of friends were harassed by the police who would come up every hour or so and ask to see my passport and visa, in perfect English. We finally left because it was very clear that I especially was not wanted there. 

Once I got through the checkpoint I called my father and told him what had happened. He was very angry with me. He said, “What were you thinking? You can’t go to the East Block. You could have been killed. What on earth possessed you to go over there?” I told him about the Museum and the walls of Babylon. He told me that under no circumstances was I to go over there again. I asked why, and once again he could not tell me exactly. All he would say was that things that he did put me on their radar and it was not safe.

In my mind he was like James Bond. When he was in Europe he carried a briefcase with handcuffs on them. I never knew where he was or when he could come to visit me because now I understand that he was never allowed to go to Berlin at all. He was breaking all the rules coming to visit me.

But again, little things would leak out, such as; when there was the Freedom in Europe Day in Berlin. He was there and this is a festival where they used to march the old tanks down the streets in Berlin in a parade. My father would watch calmly and say, “Do you know how to blow that particular tank up? You just put a grenade right here (pointing and explaining the exact spot) and the whole thing will blow up. I would always look at him carefully and I recognized always that my father was an enigma wrapped in a mystery. He knew so much but most of his life we was not able to say much.

In retirement, his best friends were the Marines and old Army and Navy Pilots. I would see them in corners laughing and reminiscing about things that only old warriors would find interesting.

Many years into retirement my parents were invited to an event down at the North Las Vegas Military Base. My mom’s story was that they entered a huge hanger on the base and there were pictures in a pyramid on the wall. The top picture was of my father and over it was a banner that said, “Pioneers in the Aviation Field”. Even my mother was stunned. Then General Colin Powell came up to my mother and said, “Kay Wagner, it is an honor to meet you. I have heard so much about you!” My quiet housewife of a mother was shocked that General Colin Powell even knew her name.

When Texas Instruments sold my father’s patents to Raytheon many years after he retired they sold his patents to them for 5 billion dollars. My father was an electrical engineer and only made $35,000 most of his life. He never got a royalty for his tremendous effort or a bonus from his company. There were many others that worked on these top-secret things that have made our military strong and our country powerful. My father was one of many that were the unsung hero’s of a time when lives were at stake and your commitment and integrity were more important than your personal feelings.

My father won the Haggerty Award and at the time he was the only American to win that award. I am very proud of who my father was and what he did for so many with really no glory or reward. I know that he is not alone and on this Father’s Day I send a great big thank you to all those men and women, father’s and mother’s out there who did great things but have never been given financial reward or been recognized for their tremendous effort.

My father died 8 years ago and I miss him still. He was a kind and very private man. He was a man of honor and integrity. He told great stories and never put others down even when he was, by far, the smartest person in the room. 

Thank you Dad for being so special. Thank you Dad for always protecting me. Thank you Dad for protecting so many American lives and being who you were.

Numerology/Astrology for 6/2015 - Plus Personal Blog

Numerology/Astrology for 6/20/15
Today is the number 7. Can you feel that burning question, “What’s the plan?” There is a drive today to come up with a new strategy that will align all this chaos with a new reality that seems right at the tip of your fingers but you want it to solidly be in your hand instead. You are reaching today for a possibility but that possibility is going to require a few more things to get it done and complete. Don’t worry, things have their own timing and things align in more and more subtle ways today. There is a finesse to change and the attention to detail that you put into the situation now will pay off in powerful and profound ways later. The Moon is in Leo all day, encouraging you to express yourself and your affections. However, this morning, an influence that first occurred in November 2014 (and will perfect again in mid-August 2015), is exact: Saturn semi-square Pluto. Power struggles, frustration, and manipulation are themes of this long-term transit. Confrontations tend to amount to frustration or lead you nowhere. You may desire change but feel blocked by others or by circumstances. Persistence will pay off in the end, and the need to adjust your expectations becomes obvious now. On a lighter note, this afternoon, the Moon aligns with Jupiter and boosts your confidence in yourself and possibly life itself. You are more willing to take on challenges and solve problems.
~Suzanne Wagner~

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There are hundreds of paths up the mountain, all leading in the same direction, so it doesn’t matter which path you take. The only one wasting time is the one who runs around and around the mountain, telling everyone that his or her path is wrong.

~Hindu Proverb~

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In the continued horror and tragedy that is the murder of countless people for ridiculous reasons causes me much suffering today. At what point do we refuse to let anyone who perpetuates beliefs that cause separation? At what point do we stop allowing people to talk in ways that harm others? There are those out there who justify their terrible behaviors and do not support the rights of all humans, plants, and animals.  At what point do we refuse to allow behaviors to continue that cause the continued degradation of life on this planet? I ask that this be that moment. This is the moment to write letters to senators, congressmen, and anyone who will listen. It is time to stand up to bullies, stand up to those who put others down, and stand up to those egos who believe that they are always right and that their truth is the only truth. We cannot let this type of behavior to continue. All those who breathe life from this planet have a right to live, thrive, strive, and grow. Do not put others down that you do not know. Stand up to those who talk badly about others that are just trying to do their best, even if their best is not what you appreciate or understand. Do not go to teachers or people in authority that speak from a prejudice, backstabbing, or condescending way about others. If you look up to those types of people you give them power and those are the types of people that you need to isolate and allow them to sit in their own negativity. Do not give them your time and energy. Do not give them an audience. Raise children to respect all life and all things. It is time to teach others how to feel inside to see if situations are honoring and respectful. When you allow certain behaviors to continue you perpetuate the chaos and negativity that allows terrible people power and control. Look inside to the places where you hold anger and projection. That is your crap that you need to deal with it. Do not spew it out on others. Take a careful look at those you look up to. Decide if they just look good on the outside or if they are really good on the inside. Pretty packages can hide very disgusting minds that harm others.
~Suzanne Wagner~

Numerology/Astrology for 6/19/15 - Plus Personal Blog

Numerology/Astrology for 6/18/15
Today is the number 6. Can you feel that draw to be still, sit in silence, and meditate?  That is because of the number 6 luring you into the place of the hermit. Today is a day to connect to that divine spark within. It is time to remember that inside you have the answers you seek. There is no outside. Everything on the outside is coming from your internal state and self-awareness. There is no place to go, no one else has the answer for you, and it is time to remember that you are the wisdom you seek. The Moon leaves Cancer at 2:23 AM EDT, and enters Leo. This is a self-expressive position of the Moon. We want to have fun, play, entertain, and get noticed. This is a time when we seek attention--when you want to stand out for your special qualities. It's a generally good time for romance and any creative activity as well. You might crave a touch of drama, passion, and color in your life. The Moon's sextile to Mercury in the afternoon offers you the chance to communicate with special ease.
~Suzanne Wagner~

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The biggest coward is a man who awakens a women’s love with no intention of loving her.

~Bob Marley~

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The greatest gift a man can give his woman is his presence. To a woman there are so many forms of love. I want men to know how many gifts they potentially carry. To a woman, a gentle look across the room is sexual if done the right way, a playful tease is also, and his willingness to help and work together is also sexual. When a man owns the power of his love and masculine penetration and learns how to creatively move with that as a dance and an art to playfully flow with life and his woman I can tell you that there is nothing sexier to a woman. Men do not limit your sexual expression to an act. Find the creative protective expressions, the soft and thoughtful expressions, the helpful and supportive expressions, and the long and languid sexual expressions. Then your women or lover will feel happy and fulfilled. Then she can relax and open and you will enjoy a calm and loving life.
~Suzanne Wagner~

Numerology/Astrology for 6/18/15 - Plus Personal Blog

Numerology/Astrology for 6/18/15
Today is the number 5. It is a homey day where you might just want to enjoy your friends and family. Go on a picnic and enjoy the sun and natural world. Cleaning out closets, doing chores in the yard or garage, and putting things back into so sort of order feels wonderful. These moments are precious and it is these times that give you strength during times of struggle. It is often the simple things that give us the ritual of comfort. The Moon is in Cancer again today, all day. During this time you might respond to challenges or stress by retreating or withdrawing under the influence of a protective Cancer Moon, and you are especially concerned with family and close loved ones. There can be tension this morning as you confront the need to make changes. Later in the morning, the Moon's trine to Chiron can be a time when you are more emotionally involved and present. It's easier to understand and embrace your feelings and to empathize with others. Learning from one another is easy and natural now. The Moon is also moving towards a trine with Saturn, which is freshly in the sign of Scorpio on its retrograde journey. It is time to accept your responsibilities with this influence.
~Suzanne Wagner~

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Never discourage anyone…who makes continual progress, no matter how slow.

~Plato~

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People say that I have a great deal of patience. In truth my gage of movement is sometimes in the smallest sense. What I mean by that is if someone moves consistently just a little bit then I will support that whole heartedly. I know how easy it is to get stuck for long periods. I know what it feels like when you realize how far you have to go and you have woken up to the huge challenge ahead of you. Sometimes it is overwhelming to see where you are and where you need to be. And that realization can get you more stuck. But when you chunk it down to small bit sized bits and just chip away slowly at what you can do today and then again, tomorrow, you find a rhythm of steady progress. And you would be amazed at how fast things seem to move when you only look and do what is right in front of you.
~Suzanne Wagner~

Numerology/Astrology for 6/17/15 - Plus Personal Blog

Numerology/Astrology for 6/17/15
Today is the number 4. In order to be dependable you have to learn to hold your own center regardless of circumstances. You can do this without a neutral (number 4) center but it will take a physical toll over time. Today try to first find your center through meditation, breathing, exercise, etc. From that place you discover your inner deeper devotion to yourself and the truth. Once you know that you can apply your energy in more and more effective ways that support the dignity of all. When you are calm you are more determined and productive. When you are centered your core morals and values guide you and it is more difficult to manage people and come from a place of justice. The moment you realize your true nature and inner power the internal struggle goes away. Today, find your inner order and stability. Stay true to your deepest self. Be a faithful friend and accepting of all that life has to offer. The Moon is in Cancer all day, where it feels right at home as the Moon rules Cancer. Feelings of belonging and safety are prime motivators under this influence. This Moon position has much healing potential. Although insular, your feelings run deep, making it an ideal time to get in touch with what motivates yourself and others. When the Moon forms a trine with Neptune around midday, you can be especially sensitive and compassionate, and are easily touched. Intuition is enhanced. The Moon's opposition to Pluto later today is more confrontational and challenging, but may also get you in touch with your deeper needs.
~Suzanne Wagner~

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Men couldn't care less if your strands are perfectly styled and neat. In fact, he might like you more with some wildness or bedhead, since it shows you're carefree and relaxed.

~Helen Fisher~

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When I think of all the hours and hours I have spent in my life trying to have the perfect French twist when I was at Julliard and SAB (School of American Ballet) I just take a breath and recognize that learning the art of exactitude is a valuable art. As I got older I discovered that my drive for perfection intimidated others and made them often feel not good enough to be around me. I believed that there was something I needed to do to be perfect instead of realizing that I already was perfect. Age is a beautiful thing in this regard. It mellows you and helps you let go of beliefs you made up about the world in order to explain things. So many of my beliefs have had to be let go of and more and more the carefree spirit of my nature emerged and allowed me to relax and have fun. Wildness is fun, crazy, unpredictable, and willing to be in the moment without feeling self-conscious about what others think. It is delicious when you know you are okay and there is no need to push so hard. There are ways to do all things in a more neutral and effortless flow. Let go and find out that life does not need to be so stressful and difficult. It is the mind and the demands of the ego that make things harder than they need to be.
~Suzanne Wagner~