Well I had a whirlwind trip to Salt Lake City and Idaho Falls.
It was great to connect to those clients that were new and those that I knew very well. It was amazing to meet those who had wanted to have a session with me for years and then they found out that I had moved and they were so upset with themselves that they had waited too long.
So they were thrilled to finally be able to get a session in person rather than over the phone or skype.
Because of the tremendous outpouring of support and appreciation I have decided to find a way to more regularly come to Salt Lake City. I also am planning to come to Idaho Falls perhaps in April again.
I sit back at take a look at my reality and I realize that I am not in charge of anything. Something so much bigger and vaster than myself is obviously at work in my life. I wanted to move to California because I have literally been driving to LA once a month since 1998. I finally just got exhausted from all the traveling and decided to simplify my reality by moving and shifting the focus more to California.
But then the universe has its own plan that we are not let into. And here I am now traveling in the opposite direction. How crazy is that? I guess deep down in my bones I am a traveling gypsy from a past life. How else can I explain all this driving? Ha!
This is where I fall back into accepting the perfection of each and every moment as divine. No matter what I think or my ego wants to believe is the way, the universe always makes an adjustment to that experience.
In my life I do not think I have done everything with perfect awareness. But that is because life is fraught with pitfalls and mistakes.
When life kicks us down there are many that cannot take the hits to the ego. Each person will make mistakes based on their programming, fears, doubts, insecurities, and unresolved issues. But are these really mistakes? Often the soul needs to learn certain lessons and certain situations are designed to make us very aware of choices that are incongruent with divine universal flow.
I like to think of them as angelic course corrections.
The game is to learn to open in the face of contraction. This is tremendously difficult. We learn that it is not about trusting others, leaders, presidents, bosses, gurus, communities, religions, businesses, our 401 K plan, the stock market, etc, but about trusting the process of life itself. More important it is about trusting our ability to navigate life when it gets challenging.
To me the game is to choose to open in love when everything in my body wants to scream, scratch, hit, and cause suffering to those who I think are deceiving me, disappointing me, upsetting my control patterns, disturbing my perfect illusion, intentionally causing suffering, or rejecting me.
People being able to be honest with us is based on how much honesty we hold within ourselves. If we are honest within to the issues that each of us hold, and we know our kinks and quirks, we have worked on navigating them, and we have some skill in staying centered when everything in our ego/little mind is screaming for us to leave. Then people will unknowingly trust us and tell me things they would never say to another human being.
The hard part is finding those parts inside where we manipulate, hook, get needy, desire certain outcomes, or demand a certain type of attention or support. That is where life puts it right in our face. We will attract those who will make us look at our worst self.
If we are not careful our insecurity will make us become someone we never wanted to believe we could become. Such as: a liar, a snoop, someone who is using words to catch someone off guard and catch them in a lie so we can use that as a weapon against them, etc. It is in those moments when awareness becomes the key. If we can become aware of those voices, archetypes, parts within that are disowned, then we can own them and learn to love them. If we love the internal archetypes then we can integrate others into our life in more balanced ways. That creates space within and then we can see that others have their own process and it is somehow perfect. When we step out of the ego we can see the divine flowing in the complex moments and upsets then we know that the divine is flowing in a way that they cannot see. Only then can we can be the space for them to open and help them find acceptance in this moment and become aware of the perfection in this moment.
I give everyone in my life permission to mess up.
I choose friendships that give me the same permission. But we have to remember that it is all love. It is all divine. It is when the energy surges and get and the upsets get huge that the big internal issues rear their heads. When we make shifts the energy will naturally magnify and unresolved issues will come bouncing to the surface.
Then it gets really messy. There are times in my life where it has taken me months, even years to work through all the parts that show up. All we can do is stay present with those parts and learn to love the reflections that others present into our life.
I choose a life where there is a reciprocal energy in any context. And there are many ways to reciprocate energy. When there is a reciprocal flow than there is a way for life force and love to circulate between everyone and there is no limit as to the potential of energy. With this intent we can explode into a bigger arena of life, power, money, and joy.
But what happens when we do not believe that we deserve that much joy?
Again, potential problems are everywhere.
What often happens in life is that someone wants all the energy and is taking, taking, taking, and not reciprocating the flow. Then the energy dies because there is a parasite in the mix that is manipulating the situation to get their needs met. The result is that others will get exhausted. Then it becomes no fun for anyone and eventually situations break apart.
No matter how clear we are with the words, agreements, boundaries, etc. Someone will mess it up. We all have greedy parts that have needed something for so long that when we find it we want to grab onto that thing, person, or situation and hang on for dear life.
The only way to really love is to trust the flow of love. If we love someone we have to trust that they will come and go and come back again when it is in the correct flow and understanding for them. It is not always about what we want as an outcome in any moment. We do not need anyone else to complete us. We do need reflections from others to see the unresolved triggers, judgments, and issues we cannot see within our self. By observing and accepting the reflections in our life be come to know us more deeply and intimately.
