Ideas, Insights, and India February 2013

Hope you like the image of the motorized rickshaws in India. This is what it looks like and what I am dealing with here. 

Today I am noticing once again how sensitive and susceptible I am to the telepathic agreement fields that surround me. When I lived in Utah I could feel the conservative, suppressive energy that the Mormon influence created in the space. I found it very difficult to stretch out of the “acceptable” box. That manifested as being very careful around others in how I dressed, words that I chose to use, and mannerisms that I expressed in my body. Each state, city, country, and culture have a standard of energies and ways that the system deems acceptable. These are telepathic agreements that move outward and manifest in the external world by our adherence to the rules and standards that we see manifesting around us. Our acceptance of those rules as the norm reinforces the continued expression of those ways and behaviors and in some cases locks them down in ways that do not allow for modification easily.

Culturally we desperately need to belong. This is stronger in women sometimes than even in men. I know that men feel those pressures and standards that they need to live up to but in women it is even more critical. I believe that there are anthropological reasons for this. 

In ancient cultures, the men would leave to go hunting and the women were left to take care of the children and to hold down the fort. Women learned that they had to work together to survive. Upsetting another woman was a grievous offense. If the other women ostracized you, your life and the life of your children could be in jeopardy. Women are very sensitive to subtle energy and the patterns of rejection that others put out whether that is physically, verbally, or energetically. We want and need to fit in. We want and need to get approval from other women. 

So breaking out of those energies and patterns is extremely stressful and difficult. Yet, all of us are working on finding out who we really are inside and we want to be our authentic self but only if it does not upset others too much. At least that is the internal dialogue.

I have found that as a psychic I am overly sensitive to cultural norms. Bending those telepathic agreements is difficult and at times outright painful for me. I know that I have to do it and I know that I need to do it to solidify my own energetic reality and pattern. You can live in a reality but not be caught by that reality. Learning to live within it and not feel as if you care what others think as long as you are being a good and honest person is a challenge.

When I left Utah and began going to Los Angeles, I noticed a huge energetic shift between the telepathic agreement fields in Utah and California. I loved it. The California energy is somehow more naturally open and free. People are easy going, less judgmental, have educated themselves with books, classes, or just the natural sharing of insights and information. There is less of a slant there. It felt so great to me because I felt more at ease and in flow with my organic self. The reason was that there was a lot more permission there to just be who I was, permission that I obviously had not given myself.

Now this is where it gets interesting, someone else’s might not have that experience of California. That open energy might really stress them out and I acknowledge that possibility. I feel there are a lot of factors at work here. I am a big believer in astrocartography and how your personal astrological chart connects into a world map. Locations align or misalign with your chart creating ease and flow or stresses, obstacles, karmas, or conflicts. So we are each unique in this patterning.

For me California gave me permission to let go, stretch the limits, not conform, and be a bit wild. Now, just for the record my idea of wild is so tame that others when they hear the word “wild” are going to conjure up some really interesting ideas. Again, I am not that expanded, yet. 

In life I find that for me to have the courage to grow, I need a tremendous amount of permission and safety. So telepathic agreements are a big help or hindrance.

I knew that I wanted to move to northern California because I wanted that feeling of space to just try some things out and see what would manifest if I could get away from a pattern of energy that inhibited me. I was trying to do things internally and externally with this process. There are so many things about northern California that are appealing. Small wonder so many people choose to live there. And it also has its own variety of problems. 

In the area I live I find that sometimes getting things done on time is really problematic. Sometimes people are so laid back that the normal pattern of time (In which I have been trained by my perfectionistic parents) does not apply. Things take longer to get started and finished. That took some getting used to. Part of it is because where I live I am far away from the things like hardware stores. Many things have to be ordered in advance and delivered. It has been an adjustment but one I felt I got the hang of. It was good for me to learn to just “chill”.

But over the past few years I have been going to India and let me say that India is a whole other level all together. First of all, there is no Home Depot. There are not really grocery stores as American’s understand. There are lots of small stores that sell bits and pieces but not the whole thing. A woman friend of mine in India said, “Usually in a day I have 10 things on my list to do. If I get half of them done I consider that a great day.” 

For me, I have operated from the place that if there are 10 things on the list then those 10 things get done. Well, not in India. There is also a sense of no accountability. My boyfriend when he talked to his friends that he was going to take this job in India for the next 3 years said to him, “Are you crazy? How can you do quality control in India? You are never going to get things done on time.” 

On many levels they were completely correct. To his credit he has made all his deadlines. But it takes a huge effort to get all these brilliant Indian employees to learn to work together as a team. They are amazing individually but learning how to pull together and have delegated tasks with deadlines and check points has been a real challenge. It has something to do with the telepathic agreement field in this country. They are quick to say, “Yes” but then they do not always follow through. In America you would get fired pretty fast if you constantly said “yes” passed the buck and did not meet your deadlines. 

I personally hit my wall yesterday over something simple. Just trying to get a taxi, rickshaw, or ride to meet a friend for lunch. It was impossible. Now granted I was doing it at lunchtime but I started working on it 2 hours before.

Let me explain that you cannot call just any cab company and get a ride like you do in the US. Taxis are hired for 4 hours at a time. Less than that they are not interested. I have had this trouble every time I have been in India. It is very frustrating. In the time it would take me to get a ride I could have walked there faster. 

I must admit that after doing this again and again, I finally hit my wall. It was not worth the effort and trouble. I wanted to catch the next plane home to the good old US of A. 

But once again, it is all about the telepathic agreement field. There is an agreement field that everything in India is just plain difficult. Even simple things like the cab to go to lunch with friends was a drama. Everyone feels it and experiences it. 

I fantasize about how great it would be to have just a really good grocery store like Safeway in India. Now I know it would put all these small self-employed workers out of work and there has to be a way to do it as a win/win situation. I would not want to cause more suffering. Then I think how glorious a Home Depot would be. Just to be able to go to one store and get everything you need in one go. 

Wow! You could have windows that do not leak because all the windows in India are hand made. You could have doors that do not leak air and the cold because they actually fit the door correctly. It seems it would be so much less effort. You could employ the people now to work in those door factories with great jobs and benefits.

In my fantasy it works beautifully. But I know that things are never as simple as that.

I do love hand-crafted things but I also love a quality to those things that makes them work efficiently. I know that I would rather be a middle class person in America than a high class, wealthy person in India. Even wealthy, there are nothing but problems. What it creates though is a determination in the people that is unparalleled. There is a fierceness and strength under adversity that was buckling me. 

I found this so shocking as I have traveled a lot in my life. I am completely comfortable on a mud floor of a mud hut in Peru any day. But here the way this telepathic energy moves is completely challenging for me. 

Ironically that is why I keep coming back. I know you must be thinking I am sadist. But I operate from the place that when you stop stretching and growing you begin to die. Life is about change and adjustments. If you will not adapt you will die. It has been an incredible process for me to feel such an edge. It is not normally how I see myself.

In looking at the astrocartography for India I will say that mine is terrible. Of course, right? Probably the worst place on the planet for me to be. But that seems so contrary to what my mind thinks is India. I think of India and I think, “Land of enchantment, exotic world of the gurus and yogis, the place of enlightenment, a spiritual place of empowerment and meditative awareness. And it is all of that. But to get there for me I obviously need my whole ego structure broken down again and again. And “Darn” I thought I had already done that. But clearly if it is happening then I am obviously not done. 

I remember a teacher of mine said to me, “Suzanne do you know what I want you to do this process?” I said, “No!” And he said, “Because you still have resistance to it. As long as there is resistance then there is something incomplete.”

Clearly, I am more incomplete than I had ever realized. It is India that is waking me up with its assault on my senses.

So if you are feeling nice and comfortable in your world, enjoy it for as long as you can keep that illusion happening. Really! Because as you decide to open and become more aware, the universe will put you in some situations that will test your center, your sensitivities, your beliefs, and your most cherished illusions. You will step into the discomfort zone. And it will be amazing!

I hopefully will be waiting on the other side for you, smiling ear-to-ear, ready to pat you on the back and congratulate you on the incredible journey that you took.

But if you are not ready to get confused, messed up, irritated, and pushed up against your edges then stay put. Really! Yesterday was a day that I wanted to run back to the comfort of my old illusions. They were looking really great! I guess I have done this long enough that I know this is the way through. 

Now so do you. Sorry to burst that bubble but at least when it happens you will have a small map to navigate with, a few references when you want to collapse, and permission to have an off moment when your enlightened self decided to go on vacation.

Have a wonderful March. Appreciate everything American! Remember you cannot become enlightened in a bubble.