Are we afraid of the light or are we afraid of what that light might reveal that is hidden in the dark?

In my life I have looked at all the ways I have managed to block or repress my life force. I love the quote from Mairanne Willimason's book "A Return to Love":

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, talented and famous?"

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us.
It's in everyone, and as we let our own light shine,
we consciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.


This is a wonderful quote. I have worked in my life to uncover the places that I do not let my light completely shine. But what I have discovered is that a tremendous amount of energy is repressed if you only want to look at the places within you that are light. Learning to find your goodness is essential. Without knowing the potential that is within you, you cannot have the confidence to go deeper and find the treasures of energy that you are suppressing in the shadows of your being.

We are on a dualistic planet. Half the day it is light. Half the day it is dark. All of us have duality within us.

I find it so interesting how the most "Good" people sometimes fall deep into the darkness that they are denying is within them. There are endless stories of preachers, ministers, and priests falling into the darkness within them and making choices that do not align with their own words and previous actions.

What is difficult is to realize that in each of us is darkness. The energy it takes to suppress that within us is tremendous. That energy could be used, harnessed, and allowed to find a more balanced place within. The more you suppress something the more distorted it becomes. When you deny that you hold negative thoughts or dark energy within you then that energy manifests in the outer world and often controls you subconsciously.

When you do not admit that you are greedy, then that energy might distort and may suddenly max out your credit cards. When you deny that you are afraid, you may create internalized anxiety and need medication to suppress the fear. When you deny that you are a sexual being and that you love passion, you either judge others who express their sexual energy or you hide your attraction to it by being sneaky and looking at porn sites on the web.

In the process of life I have learned that when I deny something it ends up controlling me in other ways. If I admit that I have the duality within and I listen to those voices, then I can learn how to ask questions and find ways for all the parts to find balance. I learn to admit that I am greedy. Then I notice when I have a greedy feeling and want to go shopping to fill the neediness inside. Instead of maxing out the credit cards I talk to myself and ask, "What do you need from me right now to feel taken care of?" I listen to the answer and I try to find creative ways to move that energy that is less damaging to myself.

Greed is easy. The tough ones are things such as lust. We do not like to look at the natural nature of being human and being on this planet. Everything on this planet moves sexually. Plants, birds, animals, viruses, bacteria. It is our sexual nature that is critical to the survival of the species and life as we know it. Yet somehow, it has been labeled by the religions as some great sin. Now there are ways to move it that are very distorted and cause others suffering. That is not good. But there are ways to move it healthfully and happily. Even the darker ways to move sexual energy can be fun games when there is true love present and you are conscious rather than unconscious and acting out inappropriately. You can act out your fantasies either in your mind or with partners and learn through that process to reclaim internal hidden archetypes. After all, in your genetic line there is every possible combination of person in your DNA. Why not try to find flavors that you have not integrated well.

We all love movies. You can tell by the characters and movies that you are pulled towards what archetypes you want to integrate. Movies are a great way to play out internal archetypes that we are scared to actually feel. Yet, in a scary movie we can feel the fear of the character that we do not really want to experience in this life. By feeling the hero's struggle in another movie you can find and learn how to face challenges in your life and to not quit when you feel that you might want to collapse. These characters teach us new ways to think, respond, and act. That is why we love the movies. We can be anyone. It feels good and we learn and grow through them.

To take it to the next level and make it really conscious it a whole different step. To choose to take total responsibility for uncovering the parts within that you are suppressing is difficult. After all, how can you know there is a part if you cannot feel it? The answer is to look at what you judge others for. Anything that you react to in a way that inside your head you hear something like, "Oh, my goodness! That is terrible!" is probably where to begin.

Start with small things and work up to the more difficult places. In my work as a psychic, it is my personal challenge to not judge anyone that comes in my office. I believe that we are all one heart and one love. So how can I judge you if you are already me?

But there are challenging moments with different personalities. When I notice that someones' pattern is clinching my stomach I know that later I will go in meditation and look at the archetype that this person represents within me and have a little chat. When I learn to accept all my parts then others do not cause me to contract or react. It allows me to be clearer and open to reading them from the place of objective clarity rather than judgment and reactiveness.

People do not want to be judged. They want to learn and grow. But they need someone to see them from their angle and be willing to help them move in small steps that they can do. If you are judging them you are placing them below you and expecting them to be and see from your perspective. That is often too great of a leap to take easily and they will get discouraged.

If you own your own shadow. You will have worked through your own levels and layers. Then it is much easier to show them the steps to take that are real because you have also had to take those same steps that you are asking them to do. It makes them feel as if they are not alone and that it just might be doable.

If you are working on navigating your own darkness, then others darkness does not feel like such a burden. But if you are using your life force to suppress your own shadow, then when another person walks in with that same issue, it will feel overwhelming and something you do not want to deal with. Others will feel as if they are upsetting you and they will not want to share on that deeper level.

Then you are caught in being in relationships that do not go very deep and never feel completely fulfilling. That is because you are holding parts of yourself out of intimacy with others.

So what do you have to loose by going into the shadow of your own darkness? Everything.

The risk is tremendous and the reward is also as fabulous. Learn how vast and magical you really are. When you own your wholeness then you also can give in more full and vibrant ways. You stop judging others and you accept yourself and the complex magnificence that is within you. It allows something deep inside to relax and the past stresses just melt away. It takes much less energy to do it this way. It takes a lot of energy to keep bolstering up your defensive postures.

Regardless, each of us is a work in progress. So be gentle with yourself. When you catch yourself reacting, just breathe and know that you have another opportunity to release energy that is still blocking your full radiance from coming out. You can find peace and wholeness. But you can't get there by denying what is really going on within. Talk to those parts. They might have some amazing perspectives to share with you that might make your life easier. Give it a shot. You have nothing to loose because it is all you. You will find the lost treasures that you carry and gifts that have been hidden in shadow until you were strong enough to go on the quest to find them.