Musings of Life

I am taking advantage of the beautiful fall weather right now as I know that I am living in a temperate rain forest and when it decides to rain then it is really going to rain. And I mean for weeks and weeks.

But if that is the compromise I need to make to live in the beautiful redwoods and that is what they need to survive than that is what I am happy to live with.

The cat is basking in the sun and the sky is clear as a bell today. It is beautiful!

I am attempting to create workshops here in northern California for Numerology, Tarot, Palmistry and Channeling. I realize that to get things going I am going to have to put out the advertising way in advance. The problem is in getting people to call me back so I can get costs and dates set.

Patience seems to be the lesson over and over again. How do you stay proactive and yet know how to flow in the direction of what the universe has in store for you? That is something that I am working on finding out.

At least I will be coming back to Utah November 9th and then from the 14th-18th, 2011. I managed to get that advertising done and the Catalyst Magazine is informed and so hopefully for Oct and Nov I will have that handled.

I am also doing a free psychic fair at Mahazar's (an amazing clothing store in Willits) for the Harvest Moon Festival on Oct 14th. I will be available from 10 am till 8 pm that day for readings. It will be first come - first served.

This is a way for me to introduce myself into the Willits area and get to know the locals. I am looking forward to it. It should be fun and a merry event.

I am also looking at doing workshops and lectures at Open Secret Bookstore in San Rafael. It is a great location but I am still getting numbers and costs right now worked out.

Hopefully you are also having a moment to breathe in the lovely fall weather and feel the changing of the seasons in your life, heart, and energy.

Remember to appreciate everyone in your life today and remember that everyone is divine and wanting to receive love and support.

Personal Note And Update On What I Have Learned Recently

Well I had a whirlwind trip to Salt Lake City and Idaho Falls.

It was great to connect to those clients that were new and those that I knew very well. It was amazing to meet those who had wanted to have a session with me for years and then they found out that I had moved and they were so upset with themselves that they had waited too long.

So they were thrilled to finally be able to get a session in person rather than over the phone or skype.

Because of the tremendous outpouring of support and appreciation I have decided to find a way to more regularly come to Salt Lake City. I also am planning to come to Idaho Falls perhaps in April again.

I sit back at take a look at my reality and I realize that I am not in charge of anything. Something so much bigger and vaster than myself is obviously at work in my life. I wanted to move to California because I have literally been driving to LA once a month since 1998. I finally just got exhausted from all the traveling and decided to simplify my reality by moving and shifting the focus more to California.

But then the universe has its own plan that we are not let into. And here I am now traveling in the opposite direction. How crazy is that? I guess deep down in my bones I am a traveling gypsy from a past life. How else can I explain all this driving? Ha!

This is where I fall back into accepting the perfection of each and every moment as divine. No matter what I think or my ego wants to believe is the way, the universe always makes an adjustment to that experience.

In my life I do not think I have done everything with perfect awareness. But that is because life is fraught with pitfalls and mistakes.

When life kicks us down there are many that cannot take the hits to the ego. Each person will make mistakes based on their programming, fears, doubts, insecurities, and unresolved issues. But are these really mistakes? Often the soul needs to learn certain lessons and certain situations are designed to make us very aware of choices that are incongruent with divine universal flow.

I like to think of them as angelic course corrections.

The game is to learn to open in the face of contraction. This is tremendously difficult. We learn that it is not about trusting others, leaders, presidents, bosses, gurus, communities, religions, businesses, our 401 K plan, the stock market, etc, but about trusting the process of life itself. More important it is about trusting our ability to navigate life when it gets challenging.

To me the game is to choose to open in love when everything in my body wants to scream, scratch, hit, and cause suffering to those who I think are deceiving me, disappointing me, upsetting my control patterns, disturbing my perfect illusion, intentionally causing suffering, or rejecting me.

People being able to be honest with us is based on how much honesty we hold within ourselves. If we are honest within to the issues that each of us hold, and we know our kinks and quirks, we have worked on navigating them, and we have some skill in staying centered when everything in our ego/little mind is screaming for us to leave. Then people will unknowingly trust us and tell me things they would never say to another human being.

The hard part is finding those parts inside where we manipulate, hook, get needy, desire certain outcomes, or demand a certain type of attention or support. That is where life puts it right in our face. We will attract those who will make us look at our worst self.

If we are not careful our insecurity will make us become someone we never wanted to believe we could become. Such as: a liar, a snoop, someone who is using words to catch someone off guard and catch them in a lie so we can use that as a weapon against them, etc. It is in those moments when awareness becomes the key. If we can become aware of those voices, archetypes, parts within that are disowned, then we can own them and learn to love them. If we love the internal archetypes then we can integrate others into our life in more balanced ways. That creates space within and then we can see that others have their own process and it is somehow perfect. When we step out of the ego we can see the divine flowing in the complex moments and upsets then we know that the divine is flowing in a way that they cannot see. Only then can we can be the space for them to open and help them find acceptance in this moment and become aware of the perfection in this moment.

I give everyone in my life permission to mess up.

I choose friendships that give me the same permission. But we have to remember that it is all love. It is all divine. It is when the energy surges and get and the upsets get huge that the big internal issues rear their heads. When we make shifts the energy will naturally magnify and unresolved issues will come bouncing to the surface.

Then it gets really messy. There are times in my life where it has taken me months, even years to work through all the parts that show up. All we can do is stay present with those parts and learn to love the reflections that others present into our life.

I choose a life where there is a reciprocal energy in any context. And there are many ways to reciprocate energy. When there is a reciprocal flow than there is a way for life force and love to circulate between everyone and there is no limit as to the potential of energy. With this intent we can explode into a bigger arena of life, power, money, and joy.

But what happens when we do not believe that we deserve that much joy?

Again, potential problems are everywhere.

What often happens in life is that someone wants all the energy and is taking, taking, taking, and not reciprocating the flow. Then the energy dies because there is a parasite in the mix that is manipulating the situation to get their needs met. The result is that others will get exhausted. Then it becomes no fun for anyone and eventually situations break apart.

No matter how clear we are with the words, agreements, boundaries, etc. Someone will mess it up. We all have greedy parts that have needed something for so long that when we find it we want to grab onto that thing, person, or situation and hang on for dear life.

The only way to really love is to trust the flow of love. If we love someone we have to trust that they will come and go and come back again when it is in the correct flow and understanding for them. It is not always about what we want as an outcome in any moment. We do not need anyone else to complete us. We do need reflections from others to see the unresolved triggers, judgments, and issues we cannot see within our self. By observing and accepting the reflections in our life be come to know us more deeply and intimately.

Intuitive Patterns for the Month of October 2011

October begins with a great degree of astrological tension but the energies are attempting to find a new place of balance. Opposing forces attempt to reconcile but there is still mistrust and suspicion. Part of the reason for reconciliation is because we are finally so exhausted from the strain of the past year that the density has forced everyone to re-evaluate his or her positions and patterns.

We are finally looking at the fact that everyone is on the same journey and we need to learn how to work together. Being right is great but what does it get you when you have alienated yourself to those whom you need to manifest the changes?

October is a month when you will find yourself coming together with others in new ways in order to take action and get things moving again. Longing or wallowing in the past will not help us move into the uncharted waters of the future. The past is a guidepost reminding us of the patterns that have worked and those that have not worked historically.

But the past is not able to decipher the complex patterns of this present modern world. We will feel as if we are required to step out of our old boxes and move towards new patterns of reality.

I like to look at how the intense density is actually a gift. We are looking at how we have allowed ourselves to get stretched too thin and now we need something very different. You will feel this duality fighting within you throughout the month.

You may hear the questions in your head:

Do I want to be alone? Yes!

Do I want to be a part of this unfolding pattern? Yes!

How do I let myself out of my own cage and find the freedom I so long for?

What steps do I need to take to find the courage necessary to feel safe and protected in this unpredictable world?

The key is grounding. Find the place of center within you. Feel that connection to everyone and everything that is alive on this planet. In times of great change you need to know yourself and you need to know that you can trust your highest self to carry you through to new places of light and love.

At this place of new beginnings it is wonderful to remember that there is magic and protection when you embark into unknown territories. Awareness of all the subtle messages coming into you is essential to navigating places that stretch us mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

The choice to begin is always a personal choice. The feeling of aloneness in those moments is profound. When surrender and acceptance of this moment is allowed, doorways open and you find others who, like you, are moving in the same direction and with a similar purpose.

We are never really alone. We just need to have our eyes refreshed and opened to the magic that is right in front of us at all times. Let this moment free you from the density of your positions and opinions. Let transformation be the guide this month. Come together with others and share ideas that bridge the gaps and upsets. Set aside the positions of polarity, right and wrong. Allow the new doorway to be jointly manifested. Find the thrill in the coming together of ideas with others. Feel the relief in the fact that you do not have to have all the answers. Allow others in who are seeking to find a similar place within themselves and walk that path together.

Enjoy October!